Be Thy Noble
by paddle-without-boat
Summary: Using his brilliant scientific deduction, Watari determines that Tatsumi needs to loosen up and get romantically involved with someone. The only candidate? Watari himself! Too bad he doesn't realize just how fragile Tatsumi's emotions are...
1. Scientific Deduction

Author's note: Okay, this is not only my first Yami no Matsuei fic, but it's the first time I'm doing the whole chapter thing. My goal in doing this is to get more feedback from readers and because it seems to be more popular than the whole really long one-shot thing. .;; I'll try to post fairly regularly, and don't be too harsh on me - I've only seen the anime! I have no idea what goes on in the manga, just the things I've heard spoken of. Please let me know if you like it. Future chapters will be longer, I promise! That being said…on to the fic!

There were reasons Watari Yutaka kept to himself in his lab. He was known to be amiable, clumsy, and absent-minded by everyone. In truth, however, he saw a lot more than anyone else at EnMaCho. Watari, Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and Konoe were sitting in a meeting led by Tatsumi. As the stoic secretary lectured about that month's budget expenditures, Watari was busy watching his companions. Tsuzuki looked to be half-asleep, his arm propped up to keep his head from hitting the meticulously polished table. Beside him, Hisoka listened to Tatsumi, but Watari noticed that the boy would occasionally glance over at his partner. 

'Ah,' Watari noted with interest, 'his body is leaning toward Tsuzuki's…' 

Based on his scientific knowledge of the subconscious, he knew that Hisoka's body language indicated an unspoken attraction toward Tsuzuki. Filing that tidbit away for later experimentation, he allowed his attention to momentarily focus on Tatsumi's speech. The secretary was droning on about the most effective ways to keep within one's given budget, occasionally throwing pointed glares at Tsuzuki for added effect. Seeing the Shinigami's lack of attention, Tatsumi frowned and continued his speech.

'Ah, Tsuzuki's going to get it later,' Watari noted with amusement. He could already picture the man turning chibi, big watery amethyst eyes looking reproachful. Of course, he would look to Hisoka to help him escape Tatsumi's rage. 'Interesting,' Watari thought, 'that he seems to gravitate toward Bon instinctively.' Anyway, Hisoka would only scoff and call him an idiot, while Tatsumi would begin to - 

He paused his train of thought, blinking as 003 pecked at him from her perch on his shoulder. He was about to scold her when Tatsumi spoke.

"And what was I just saying, Watari-san?" He sounded like a strict schoolmaster. Everyone turned to look at Watari, even Tsuzuki, and the scientist gulped.

"Umm…you were saying…" He wasn't sure whether to make a guess or have fun with it, so he chose the latter. "You were saying that boxers really don't suit Tsuzuki-san because briefs accentuate his body so much better." Pause. "Right?"

Tatsumi stared at him for a moment, his expression neutral. Sighing, he shook his pointing stick at Watari.

"Please pay attention, Watari-san. You of all people could try to learn what I'm telling you here." 

Nodding nonchalantly, Watari made another note, this time on the fact that after his little comment, Tatsumi was resolutely avoiding looking at Tsuzuki. The secretary wound the meeting down, finally permitting everyone to get back to work. 

Back in his lab, Watari looked through his notes on his fellow Shinigami, smiling slyly at what he read. 

"Oh Bon," he sighed, "you're too obvious. And Tsuzuki, you're too oblivious."

Making a 'tsking' noise, he turned to his notes on Tatsumi.

"Oh dear…now this is sad. Pining after someone who's obviously in love with someone else…Well, okay, let's see what we can do about that."

As far as he knew, Tatsumi's love life after his death was non-existent. Well, Watari hadn't dated anyone either, but still! Tatsumi was far too reserved for his own good.

"Don't you think it's time he loosened up, 003? There's no harm in pushing him in the right direction. Let's see…all I have to do is find someone to get him to open up. Who? Can't be Tsuzuki, we have to set him up with Bon later…definitely not Terazuma! Well gosh…I guess that just leaves me, doesn't it?"

003 squawked in response, nipping at his chin lightly. 

"I know, girl. I'll be careful with this. We are talking about Tatsumi, after all. I'll just…flirt with him some, get him to open up. That's all. Once that's done, he'll be sure to be happier! And that means more funding for us!"


	2. Operation: Tatsumi

Well, this chapter isn't longer…sue me. Maybe they'll all be short like this…I dunno. ^^;;

Kara Angitia - Thanks! Hmm…I think you're right. Tsuzuki would look better in boxers. They suit his personality much better.

Meritite - Thanks for the advice. Don't worry, though, I already know where I want to go with this fic. I don't like to make characters too OOC, either, because it takes away from the believability of the fic, ya know?

Watercolor-Dragon - I'm very glad you like it! ^__^

"TSUZUKI!!!"

Watari jumped, hitting his head on the cabinet door above him. Cursing, he retrieved an orange bottle from the cabinet, closing the door and rubbing his sore skull. He glanced in the direction of Tatsumi's voice, which could be plainly heard since the lab door was wide open. 003 squawked to Watari as if to say _'you're going to go for **him**?!'_

"…It's alright, really. There's nothing to worry about. Tatsumi doesn't mean it when he yells like that, he's just blowing off steam. You would, too, if you stayed cooped up in an office doing paperwork all day and night."

He could still hear the shouting, but Watari just smiled and went back to work. He was looking forward to implementing experiment #86396599054217...otherwise dubbed 'Operation: Tatsumi'. He had all the details meticulously worked out: he would start with small talk, then turn to light, playful flirting. After that, he would work on getting Tatsumi to confide in and trust him, then on to the heavier flirting and innuendo. 

'He'd be happy to know that for once I'm doing an experiment that won't blow anything up or cost money,' Watari mused. Once the shouting ended, he heard footsteps echoing down the hall toward the lab and paused, turning to face the doorway. The shadowy figure of Tatsumi entered, his face stern as usual.

"Watari-san, my office." Having said that, he turned stiffly, not waiting for a response. The scientist blinked, glancing at 003 and shrugging.

"Stay here, girl. I'll just be a few minutes…" 

He entered the small office, eyeing its sparse walls and single fake plant. Tatsumi sat at his desk, hand folded in front of him. 

"You wanted to see me, Tatsumi?" Watari put on his brightest smile.

"Yes. Would you explain this expense to me?"

He held out a sheet of paper for Watari to read. The blonde eyed it for a moment, looking up only to realize something. 'Operation: Tatsumi begins now. It's perfect!'

"Oh, this?" he said, making every attempt to sound convincing. "I was trying to make a robot with artificial intelligence."

He watched as the Kagetsukai's brow arched.

"For what purpose?"

Watari mentally cheered. 'Here goes…' He sighed forlornly, casting sad eyes to his pseudo-partner. Making sure he had Tatsumi's attention, he continued.

"Well…it's just that, you know, it gets lonely…being stuck in a lab all day with only birds to talk to…I guess I just got sick of being alone."

The secretary's eyes narrowed slightly, and he leaned forward.

"Watari…even if that is so, you have the option of leaving the lab and chatting with Tsuzuki. We both know he's never busy working." 

The younger man almost smiled at that comment, but instead nodded sadly.

"I know. It's just that…well, Tsuzuki…he wouldn't understand some of the things bothering me. I mean, he's always so cheerful and everything's so clear-cut for him. There are some issues that I wouldn't even trust him with."

Watari bit his lip, surprised that he had blurted that out. He had meant to say something along those lines, but not so close to how he truly felt.

Tatsumi stared at him for a moment in contemplation. Seeing this, Watari smiled slightly.

"Ah, but don't worry about it. It's a shame that there's no one who's mature, serious-minded and intelligent enough for me to confide in…The only person who would fit that description is…well, you, Tatsumi-san. But I know you don't want to hear my stupid problems."

He stood to leave, still pretending to be forlorn. 'I hope this works,' he thought.

"Watari-san…" He paused for a moment. "I have never intentionally given the impression that you cannot talk to me. If…if you need to…"

The scientist could see that the Kagetsukai was uncomfortable. 

"Thanks, Tatsumi. I'll remember that."

He smiled genuinely, exiting the small office in high spirits. 'Step one: successful.'


	3. Step Two Begins

Everyone happy with it so far? ^^ I hope so. Now, I know this is categorized as angst, and I (being the self-proclaimed "Angst Queen") will deliver on that! We've just got to build up to it. I'm having a lot of fun writing this, and all your great reviews are very encouraging. Thank you!

Meritite - He sure did! Don't worry, I don't think a dump truck falling on me could make me stop at this point. ^^;; Well, theoretically.

Kyraille Fade - Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Yes, Watari is quite devious, isn't he? *calculated insane laughter*

Lothlorien1 - ^_^ You wanted more? Here it is. I hope you enjoy it!

Konnie-chan - *hugs back* Of course! Don't hyperventilate, now. *pats back soothingly*

When he arrived the next day, Watari bounced around Meifu in high spirits. Step one of Operation: Tatsumi had been a resounding success, his latest experiment hadn't blown up yet, and he still had the entire month's funding! 003 flitted around her human excitedly, eager to help keep his spirits up. Watari glanced over to his whisker-growing potion, debating whether to spike the coffee with it or not.

'If I do that, Tatsumi will get mad, and that would be counter-productive…Oh, the sacrifices I make for science!'

Shaking his head, he put the potion away, resolving to use it another day. He walked to the break room, whistling on the way. He reached the doorway, pausing. Tatsumi was inside already, sipping his coffee. He had a far away look on his face, as if he was thinking about something. Watari leaned in the doorway, watching the Kagetsukai. He studied the man's handsome features, allowing himself to muse on how attractive his friend was. 'Ah…Operation: Tatsumi will be rewarding in its own way for me…'

After a moment, Watari cleared his throat, smiling as Tatsumi turned, startled.

"Something on your mind?" he asked.

The blue-eyed man blinked in surprise, finally shaking his head.

'This is too perfect,' thought Watari, sashaying across the room to stand before the man. He leaned in slightly, rewarded by the man's nervous look.

"You know, if you need to talk, I'm here. Any time you need me."

With another smile, Watari straightened up and began pouring his own coffee, enjoying the double entendre his words had. 'Though he probably didn't notice.'

As he let his somewhat dense superior ruminate on his offer, Tsuzuki skidded in, followed by a calm Hisoka, who merely rolled his eyes at his partner's antics. 

"I'm late! Sooorry, Tatsumi!" the violet-eyed Shinigami bellowed, finally skidding to a stop in front of the pastries and grabbing several.

Tatsumi cleared his throat.

"Actually, you are almost on time for once, Tsuzuki-san."

Tsuzuki paused, his eyes widening. He stood like that for a moment, then flashed an adorable grin.

"Sugoi! 'Soka, did you hear that? I'm on time! On _time_!"

Hisoka glared at his excitable partner, turning away from him to go to his desk.

"Wait, 'Soka! Wait for me!"

Watari watched the two leave, then glanced at Tatsumi. As the made eye contact, they smiled slightly at each other in their shared amusement.

Watari frowned, pouring the greenish liquid down the sink drain. 'Another failure. But how? I did everything according to my theory…mixed all the chemicals in order and with proper measurements…why didn't it work?'

He sighed, resting his head on his palm as he pondered his latest failure. 003 flitted over to him, resting on his shoulder and nibbling at his ear affectionately. 

"Thanks, girl. I appreciate the support. But…maybe I just need to stick to simple experiments. Like with my drawing…maybe I'm just not smart enough to do more than simple lab work."

"That's not true, Watari. You are very intelligent, although rather prone to accidents. But that hardly means you are less than capable."

The scientist jerked around, startled as he heard Tatsumi's voice coming from the doorway. The Kagetsukai was leaning against the frame, and Watari felt his heart speed up in nervousness.

"T-Tatsumi! What are you doing here?" he stammered.

The blue-eyed man stepped inside almost hesitantly, his arms crossed protectively in front of him. 

"I, uh…well…"

Watari tilted his head, bemused by his pseudo-partner's timidity. 

"You wanted to talk to me? Personally?" he ventured.

Blue eyes widened, but Tatsumi nodded hesitantly. 

Although he wanted to jump up and yell "Yatta!", Watari forced himself to remain calm.

"Well," he said, taking off his bulky lab coat and opting for a simple brown jacket, "Why don't we talk over lunch? I'm buying, of course."

Tatsumi debated for a moment, finally nodding.

"That would be…nice, Watari-san." 


	4. Lunchtime Revelations

Okay, this one's much longer than previous chapters (hope it's long enough!). Now, I'm trying to move things forward some plot-wise, but just be patient. Angsty romance doesn't just happen overnight, ya know! ^_^ This chapter's mostly dialogue, but hopefully it adds to the storyline. You see, I've been mega stressed lately, and this chapter just kinda birthed itself without my help (like Athena from Zeus). Anyway, it's kind of like stress relief for me. Especially Watari's little scene. ^_^;; And for reviews:

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Meritite - Thanks for the advice! I've taken it to heart in this chapter as far as length, and I'll definitely try to ease scene transitions next time I have some. ^_^;; I hope this one moves the plot along some!

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Konnie-chan - Scene changes will be marked by ***** from now on. Of course that doesn't make me angry, silly girl! *huggles* I think it's a damn good idea!

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Kyraille Fade - They're my favorite, too. ^_~ Yes, he is definitely getting himself into a mess…a big, terrible mess.

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LinaLau - *huggles and passes out yummy sweets, stolen from Tsuzuki* Thank you so much! Your comments mean so much to me. Not to mention how much they inflate my already over-flowing ego…heh heh.

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The restaurant they opted for was simple and comfortable, the walls painted a pale blue, the booths matching. Tatsumi sat down, sliding to the center of the seat. Watari sat across from him, chatting with the waitress as she took their drink orders. When she left, the scientist turned his bright amber eyes on his comrade.

"So," he began, "whatever could you want to talk to me about?"

The mischievous side of him wanted to add to the question, but he refrained for the sake of Operation: Tatsumi. He had to be approachable, after all.

"Well…There is something concerning me, Watari-san."

The blonde Shinigami leaned forward conspiratorially.

"Oh? Does it have to do with Tsuzuki? Did Terazuma do something to provoke him again? Or is it…case-oriented?" The last part was said with obvious disdain.

The Kagetsukai shifted slightly, adjusting his glasses in what Watari had long recognized as a nervous gesture.

"Actually, Watari-san…it involves you."

Watari's smile wilted slightly at his partner's formal tone. 'Uh oh…'

"Ah, is that so?" he said, forcing the now insincere smile to stay put.

Tatsumi nodded slowly, watching his reaction.

"It has come to my attention that lately, you've been…acting rather strangely. All of this," he motioned with his hands for effect, "suddenly confiding in me and offering to do the same, it's not like you. If there is something going on that could negatively affect your job performance, I'd like to know."

Watari blinked, taken aback by this. Trying to remain patient, he couldn't help but be offended at the response his efforts were receiving.

"Well," he said tersely, "there's no need to be concerned about my job performance, Tatsumi-san. I can assure you that it will not be adversely affected. As for what you describe as my odd behavior, I apologize. I was not aware that trying to actually be your friend for a change would be received so poorly. After all, it doesn't cost you precious money, but as you always say, time is money, right?"

Tatsumi's eyes widened, his surprise evident. He was silent for a moment, and Watari stood abruptly.

"Is there anything else, Tatsumi-san? If not, I shall be leaving now. I'd hate to waste any more of your time."

The Kagetsukai winced at the formal tone his partner had taken, and at the hurt swimming in the man's usually bright eyes.

"Watari, wait." He again fixed his glasses. "Please, be seated. I…apologize. I mistook your attempts at friendship as something else. I should not have spoken without first hearing you out. You aren't wasting my time, believe me."

Hesitantly, the scientist retook his seat. He sighed, looking out the window next to him.

"You know, Tatsumi…Tsuzuki never was really happy before Bon came along. He _seemed _happy, sure, but in reality he suffered quite a bit. And then along comes Bon, and suddenly Tsuzuki has someone to lean on, to support him. Not to mention that he feels useful now, like he has a purpose in life. That got me thinking. Don't I always seem happy? Don't I always shrug things off like Tsuzuki always did? Except there's no Hisoka for me to lean on, nothing to make me feel useful. All of us are associates, we see each other every day, yet none of us really ever talk. Not like actual friends should. But at least I have 003 to talk to, even if she can't actually answer. But then, I realized something. As silly as it seems, having her following me around helps. It makes me feel better. What I'm trying to say, Tatsumi, is that…well…" He paused, forcing himself to look into concerned deep blue eyes.

"There's no 003 in your life. You don't have anyone to talk to…you're always alone. I never really thought about it before Bon came, but now that I do, it makes me so mad at myself. All this time I've at least had 003 to comfort me in life, and I never stopped to consider that you're alone. So I wanted to get to know you better, Tatsumi. To _really_ befriend you, like I should have decades ago. But…I don't know, maybe it's just foolish of me to think…think that…"

Watari forced himself to stop before he gave too much information away. It wouldn't be smart to divulge too much information so early in the experiment. His speech had not been planned, and he felt rather embarrassed to have gone on like he did. 'So much for subtle, huh? And look at how he's staring at me…Did I screw up and give myself a second head or something? I hope I haven't blown the experiment…'

Tatsumi stared at him with an almost pained look in his eyes. 

"As I said earlier, you're very intelligent, Watari. Too much so, it sometimes seems. It isn't…foolish…of you to try to befriend me. Naïve, perhaps, but not foolish. You have to understand, though, that I have immense trouble opening up to others on a personal level. Often, I hide things even from myself. If you truly are intent upon seeing this through, it will be very difficult for us both. I won't try to stop you, but I doubt I'll make it any easier."

Watari smiled. "Well, since you know my intentions now, I guess next time you'll just ask me what's up instead of dragging me here to find out."

"As I recall, lunch was your idea."

The blonde shrugged. "So it was."

The waitress returned with their drinks, and the men dismissed her, not having even looked at the menus yet. Watari eyed his partner as he sipped his Sprite.

"So…what do you think of Hisoka and Tsuzuki?"

Tatsumi raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

Watari chuckled. "Oh, come on. Don't tell me you haven't noticed how taken Tsuzuki is with Bon? And Bon himself seems to blush a lot around him."

The Kagetsukai nodded thoughtfully.

"I have noticed Tsuzuki-san's…enthusiasm toward Kurosaki-kun…What do you think of it, Watari?"

The blonde man winked. "I think it's love."

Tatsumi's blue eyes widened behind his spectacles. 

"That's quite a statement to make."

The scientist shrugged.

"They get along quite well, despite how Bon tries to push him away. It's obvious that they're magnetically attracted to one another…even if they don't realize it yet."

"It's true that they get along well…but that doesn't necessarily imply that there's more there than meets the eye."

Watari smiled slightly. 

"That's too bad. You see, I believe that how you get along with a person reflects your basic compatibility with them."

"Oh?" Tatsumi tilted his head curiously. "How so?"

"Well," Watari began, "Bon and Tsuzuki are very compatible, as we've already established. Now, Tsuzuki and I get along great, but we're too similar. Bon is like a little brother to me, so there's no real potential. You and Tsuzuki are very close, though…"

Tatsumi frowned. "If you're implying that I have…feelings…for Tsuzuki-san, you're mistaken. It's…complicated, and an issue that I do not wish to discuss."

Watari nodded. "I understand. Anyway, as I was saying…you and Bon wouldn't really be compatible, since he looks up to you with respect, as his superior."

He paused, hoping that the secretary would notice his omission. He wasn't disappointed.

"And you and I?"

The blonde gave a purposefully shy smile and averted his eyes.

"We're like Bon and Tsuzuki…we're opposites, but we get along quite well."

Tatsumi rubbed his chin, thinking.

"So…your theory is basically that opposites attract, from what you've said?"

He realized what he had just implied, and adjusted his glasses, hastily opening the menu.

"That's exactly what my theory is, Tatsumi. If you're an uptight, money-grubbing tightwad, you need a silly, light-hearted genius to balance you. Of course, if you're a spacey, brilliant mad-scientist, you need a stuffy know-it-all to keep you from blowing yourself up. Especially when they threaten to cut your budget again!"

"Watari…" Tatsumi stared at his partner, surprise written plainly on his face. He was trying to figure out what to say, but the scientist interrupted him.

"Let's order and eat so we can get back to the office soon, okay? We can't goof off here for much longer, can we?"

Tatsumi cleared his throat. "I…I suppose not…"

He snuck a glance at his partner, who was now resolutely studying his menu, and sighed.


	5. Doubting and Wondering

Okay, this one's a tiny bit shorter than the last, but still longer than the previous. Why? Well, this just seemed to be the perfect place to end the chapter. Besides, all the good stuff's gonna be in chapter 6 (which will be long, I anticipate). Anyway, you'll see some more plot progression then, I promise. Hopefully this chapter gives some insight into Watari and Tatsumi's thoughts. Once the whole story is over, I'll reveal where I got the idea for this fic. I don't wanna say now, because I don't want anyone to get any preconceived notions! Now, the reviews:

Kara Angitia - Aww, but if Tatsumi doesn't get hurt, I don't get to write angst! *sniffles* Don't worry, though…I'm a happy ending person. ^_~

Meritite - You don't think Tsuzuki and Hisoka are compatible? Hmm…Personally, I think they're great for each other, even if the relationship is quite strained. ^^;; And I agree that Watari spilled too many beans…but as you'll see, he realizes his error.

LinaLau - *grins happily* I'm very glad that you think I've managed to keep Tatsumi in character. It can be hard at times…my perverted, angsty fangirl mind wants to steer me off course sometimes! I hope I can _keep_ them in character!

Tysoyo Kalli - *swoons in delight* Wow, you really like the fic, huh? ^___^

Once they returned from lunch, Watari bid Tatsumi farewell and locked himself in his lab. 'Idiot!' he chastised himself. 'Ugh…"you need a stuffy know-it-all to keep from blowing yourself up." Gee Yutaka, you might as well have just told him what your words implied. It's not like he couldn't figure it out. Stupid…'

As 003 alighted his shoulder, he sighed.

"Well…I had to say something personal. Dammit, I hate it when I have to make myself look vulnerable! Especially in front of Tatsumi! He's such a tightwad though, and I couldn't think of any other way to get him to drop his shields some."

003 hooted.

"I know, girl. I might as well just be throwing myself all over him at this rate. I've gotta keep focused…gotta keep focused…"

He repeated this mantra in his head, pacing the floor absently. It eluded his logical mind as to why he was so frazzled. He was in control, right? There had been no complications yet, so…why worry so much?

"Oh, but you should have seen the way he looked at me after I said that, 003! I swear, I feel so stupid now. I feel like I made a fool of myself…"

A loud thud followed by a low keening noise from the other side of the lab door startled Watari. He hurriedly unlocked the door, stepping backward as Tsuzuki sprawled over his feet, his forehead adorned with a red bump. 

"Ouch…" the injured man mumbled, hauling himself to his feet slowly.

Watari grasped his arm and helped steady him.

"Are you alright, Tsuzuki?"

His comrade nodded, rubbing his head gingerly.

"The door was supposed to be open…" he complained.

"Ah, sorry 'bout that. I know I usually keep it open…"

Tsuzuki eyed the scientist suspiciously.

"Where was Tatsumi today? I went to drop off some of 'Soka's paperwork, but Tatsumi wasn't in his office. And where were you? I came here to see if you knew where he was, but you were gone, too!"

Watari shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Well, uh…wewentouttolunch."

"Wait - what did you say?!"

Watari glared at his friend. "We went out to lunch."

Tsuzuki's eyes widened.

"Together? As in…at the same time? And he went willingly?!"

The scientist rolled his amber eyes. 

"Yes, Tsuzuki, together. He wanted to speak with me about something, and I suggested we talk over lunch. I was paying, and he agreed to it. That's all."

Tsuzuki furrowed his brows.

"Is he feeling okay? Every time I've ever asked him to grab some food with me, he said he had too many things to do and to stop wasting his time or he'd cut my budget."

"Did you offer to pay for the food?"

The older Shinigami sweatdropped. 

"Well, er…no?"

Watari smiled. 

"That's why, then. This is Tatsumi we're talking about, after all!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Tsuzuki pouted as he walked out the door. "Hisoka never asks me on dates…hmph."

Watari's eyes widened slightly as the lab door was closed.

"It wasn't a date!" he said loudly to the door. "It wasn't…really! Tatsumi would never agree to a date, would he? No, it was just lunch. A business lunch."

He sighed, pushing that train of thought aside. He pulled out the notebook in which Operation: Tatsumi was documented, and began to write.

Operation: Tatsumi, day 2 - convinced the subject to go to lunch with me. He noticed a change in my behavior and called me on it. I reacted poorly, but luckily my reaction had the (unintended) desired effect. Subject accepted my company and future attempts at "friendship". AS far as I can tell, he has no idea what's really going on. I think I said too much about my intentions, though…luckily, subject appears to be somewhat dense. There still appears to be much work to be done in the experiment, though!

He closed the notebook and set it aside gently, his mind preoccupied. 

***********

Tatsumi sat in his office shuffling paperwork. His hands were moving automatically, however, as his mind was still on the lunch he and Watari had shared. He smiled softly at his friend's consideration for him, pausing and setting the papers down. 'Maybe…if I take care of extra paperwork today, I'll be able to ask Watari-san to lunch tomorrow without losing any productivity…'

He nodded to himself, happy with his new plan. There was something about Watari's words that bothered him…something that seemed off. Tatsumi wasn't quite sure what it was, but it made him uneasy. 'Perhaps it's just my imagination,' he rationalized, thinking over their earlier conversation.

_"That's exactly what my theory is, Tatsumi. If you're an uptight, money-grubbing tightwad, you need a silly, light-hearted genius to balance you. Of course, if you're a spacey, brilliant mad-scientist, you need a stuffy know-it-all to keep you from blowing yourself up. Especially when they threaten to cut your budget again!"_

He frowned, thinking those words over. What surprised him the most was that he found himself agreeing with Watari. 'But what would possess him to say something like that…? It almost sounded as if he…' Tatsumi shook his head. 'No, that's ridiculous. Don't even think such things. You'll only make a fool of yourself, thinking that he might…' 

Tatsumi could tell that he was only upsetting himself with such thoughts, not to mention that he was neglecting the extra paperwork he had decided to do. In his musings, he failed to realize that not once had his thoughts drifted to Tsuzuki, despite half of the earlier conversation centering on the violet-eyed man.


	6. Playing Games

Whoo…this one is four pages long, in case you're wondering. Again, more lunchtime conversation. Can you tell that I really like doing dialogue? ^^;; I hope it flows well enough…and in case you haven't noticed, I love ellipses. Hope that doesn't bother anyone too much! Okay, well…er, I'd say the plot progresses in this chapter. Subtly, perhaps, but good things can't be rushed. .;; Boy, I need a nap. Reviews:

Kara Angitia - I don't think he's blind so much as reserved. ^^ Poor boy just doesn't know what to do with himself!

Nikki - So do I! ^^ Thanks!

LinaLau - Heh heh…he really 'notices' Watari in this chapter. I hope you like it!

Ace of Time - Oh, I love online tests! All I know is that my Tsuzuki type is 'Immortal Tsuzuki', my Hisoka type is 'Adorable' ( I think), and on a personality test, I got Muraki. 9_9;;; That scares me! If you know of any good YnM quizzes, let me know. I'm always looking for 'em!

Sorcha - Naw, that's not the plan. Perhaps he'll see the notebook sometime in the future, but not in the way you're thinking of. Yeah, Watari's speeches are either: contrived, or sincere. I don't think he even realizes that he does that. ^^;

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tsuzuki was bored. He sat at his desk twirling a pencil in his hand, while Hisoka glared at him and muttered choice words. His violet eyes were heavy, about to close as sleep tempted him.

"Ne, 'Soka…?" he mumbled sleepily.

"What?" The green-eyed boy looked at him impatiently.

"In'it odd…?"

The younger Shinigami paused, counting to ten mentally.

"Is _what _odd, you idiot?"

"Tatsumi…goin' to lunch with Watari…"

Hisoka blinked. 

"He did that?"

Nod nod.

"…Strange."

Tsuzuki closed his eyes.

"You think so, too? Good…" he whispered, trying to go to sleep.

His partner was about to reply when the man in question walked past. He nodded politely as he passed Hisoka's desk.

"G…good morning, Tatsumi-san," the boy stammered, embarrassed at having been gossiping just seconds before.

Tsuzuki peeked his eyes open.

"Is that Tatsumi? Where's he goin'?"

Hisoka frowned thoughtfully.

"I don't know, but…Watari-san's lab is that way."

***********

Watari groaned as he stretched down, touching his toes with the opposite hand. He paused like that for several seconds, then straightened up and repeated the action. The white lab coat was tossed aside, and his pale blue turtleneck rested atop it. He remained clad in his lycra tank top and black slacks, his honey-colored hair pulled back into a ponytail. 003 fluttered on his shoulder, her wings flapping in an attempt to mimic human exercise routines. 

"One…two…three…" Watari muttered, grunting with the effort he exerted.

He had been neglecting his routine over the previous few days, instead focusing all his time developing Operation: Tatsumi. 'I've really gotta focus more,' he thought. He had been feeling very energetic since the lunch with Tatsumi, and 003 was more than happy to encourage him to resume his exercise routine.

He had no idea that he had company, however. He continued his stretching, oblivious to the fact that Tatsumi's eyes were glued to his movements, his position giving the secretary a rather uninhibited view of the scientist's rear.

"…Ah, Watari…" he hesitated, unsure of whether he should make his presence known. 

Watari straightened up, trying not to blush profusely as he turned to face his co-worker.

"Y-yes, Tatsumi?" He could feel his cheeks getting warm as the blood rushed to them. The stoic Shinigami was staring at him oddly.

"…What are you - no, never mind."

Watari laughed self-consciously. 

"Err…exercise, ya know. Gotta keep in shape!"

Tatsumi eyed his body, then cleared his throat.

"You realize that Shinigami can't…'get out of shape' as they say?"

The blonde shrugged.

"Yeah. But it's more of a psychological issue than anything else."

"I see…" Tatsumi almost turned to leave, but stopped himself.

Noticing this hesitation, Watari stepped over to him, putting a slender hand on his broad shoulder.

"Is something wrong, Tatsumi?"

The Kagetsukai shook his head reassuringly.

"Not at all. In fact…" He took a deep breath, forcing himself to look at Watari as he spoke. "I was wondering if you would care to join me for lunch today?"

Watari blinked, shocked by the question. 'Whoa…this is unexpected!'

"Lunch? Well, sure! There's nothing I'd rather do. Let me just get my money-"

Tatsumi grabbed his arm as the scientist began to move away.

"That's not necessary, Watari. It's only proper that I pay. I asked you out, after all."

Watari blushed at the implication of the phrase "asked out".

"Tatsumi, it's not like you asked me on a date or anything! There's no need-"

He stopped at the expression on the secretary's face. He looked somewhat pained, or embarrassed. Watari felt a wave of guilt trickle over him.

"Uh, what I mean is…oh, shit. _Were_ you asking me on a…date?"

The Kagetsukai shifted uncomfortably.

"No! No…I just meant a friendly lunch. D…does that bother you?"

Watari shook his head quickly.

"Of course not! But…if you did want it to be a date, I mean…"

Tatsumi blinked.

"Is that what you want?"

The scientist froze. 'Oh shit…I've got myself cornered now.' Watari frowned, an idea coming to him.

"Tatsumi, I won't go out to a friendly lunch with you. I'm sorry."

He turned around, leaning his palms against a counter, praying that his comrade would catch on.

Tatsumi stood there in silence, staring at the back of Watari's head blankly. He felt confused over the other man's run-around answers, and a little hurt over the last comment. 'I thought…I thought he wanted to go to lunch…?' The confusion and frustration were eating at him as he tried to understand his enigmatic friend. 'Wait…he said…' The Kagetsukai thought he had figured out what Watari wanted, but was afraid to ask. 'What if he still says no?' 

"Watari…" He waited for the scientist to turn around before continuing.

"Would you be interested in…um…my taking you to…er, on a date?"

The scientist grinned in relief. He grabbed Tatsumi's wrist gently.

"I would love that, Tatsumi-kun."

The Kagetsukai smiled softly, trying not to think of how easily Watari had managed to get him to ask that.

****************

Watari smiled as he slipped into the same booth he and Tatsumi had shared the day before. 'This is so exciting! A real date with Tatsumi!' He almost giggled.

Across from him, Tatsumi took his seat with more dignity, smoothing his suit jacket and adjusting his glasses nervously. 'I can't believe I'm doing this…' he thought with resignation. He watched as Watari picked up the menu, searching it with his eyes. Tatsumi flushed when the man glanced up suddenly, catching his gaze.

Watari smiled.

"You don't have to do this if you really don't want to," he offered.

The Kagetsukai shook his head slightly.

"No, I…I want to."

The scientist gave a different kind of smile. 'Time to heat things up.'

"Still, it was good of you to…come with me."

Tatsumi's breath hitched at the way his friend spoke those words. He could feel his face becoming flushed as he stared at the amber-eyed man in shock.

"W…Watari…"

The blonde sighed.

"Yutaka. Please."

Tatsumi blinked.

"Alright…Yutaka-san."

Watari rolled his eyes to himself. 'Oh, give me a break! San?'

"Seii…" he raised an eyebrow at the frown he received. "What?"

The Kagetsukai sighed wearily.

"Yutaka…Listen to me for a moment." He took a deep breath. "I'm very glad that you want to be a real friend to me. It means a great deal that you care enough to make that effort. It's just…some of the things you've said…" He closed his eyes. "Can I be honest with you? Completely?"

"…Of course." Watari leaned forward some, concerned over the sudden change in the demeanor of his comrade.

"It worries me. I'm…afraid…to let you get close to me. It makes me nervous. I feel like I don't know how to act, how to respond to friendship."

"You think you make a lousy friend?"

Tatsumi nodded. The scientist chuckled derisively.

"You're a wonderful friend, Seii. Believe me - you have nothing to fear. And…I would never do anything to hurt you. Never."

Watari reached over, clasping Tatsumi's hand in his own gently. He rubbed his thumb over the strong hand, watching the secretary's blue eyes the whole time. Something inside him was nagging at his brain, cautioning him to slow down, to let go before it was too late. 'I can't do that…I have to do this for him. It's for his own good that I finish the experiment. _This_ is exactly why I'm doing it…I can't stand that lost look in his eyes.'

Tatsumi had to force himself to concentrate so his hand wouldn't shake. The younger man's hand felt so soft and warm in his own. 'I never…never thought such simple physical contact could be so powerful…' He was far more frightened than he had admitted to Watari. Frightened not just because the scientist had the power to hurt him, but because he was scared of his own feelings. He hadn't felt so exposed since he'd become too attached to Tsuzuki, and the thought of reliving that terrified him. 'But Watari's stronger than that…he's much stronger in that way. I…I can't hurt him with my heartlessness like I hurt Tsuzuki-san…'

Neither man realized that they were still holding hands when the waitress came.


	7. Owls and Kisses

Okay, here we go! It's very Watari-centric, and uses the Operation: Tatsumi journal a lot, but that is meant to make the chapter more insightful. *sweatdrop* I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter (especially the journal entries). I hope everybody likes it! Again, the plot progresses slightly in this ... Now, I have to let you know - the formatting of it sucks, because **nothing turned out like it should have**. If you want to see the journals in their FULL glory, please read the chapter on my website. Then review it here! ^^;; Okay, well...I can't think of anything else to say, so on to the reviews and the fic!

Kara Angitia - Aww, I'm sorry. I know those puppets were eager to do some acting. ^^;; Well, hopefully you can think of some other speech to give Tatsumi (or maybe Watari).

LinaLau - Oh yes, Tatsumi enjoyed those exercises _very_ much...*grins* It's about time they went on a date, isn't it? And many more, as you'll see in this chapter.

Kyraille Fade - Your wish is my command. I hope you like this chapter as much as the last!

digitalized - Wow. I've never been called sensei before. *bows gratefully* I'm extremely honored! I hope you like this chapter!

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

For the next week, Watari managed to convince Tatsumi to go to lunch each day, although the scientist offered to pay each time. Their conversations became increasingly friendly, each man opening up to the other more and more. Operation: Tatsumi continued as planned, each day bringing new developments. 

Operation: Tatsumi, day 3 - The subject asked me to lunch today (a date!!! I went on a date with Tatsumi!!!). He admitted to being afraid to let me close to him...I felt really bad for a moment, like I'm using him... But I'm not! My goal with this experiment isn't to hurt Tatsumi, only to help him. I'm just so tired of seeing him so unhappy and closed-off, ya know? :( Man, I'm getting off topic now...anyway, the experiment is commencing as planned with no obvious complications.

************

'He tricked me...he must have. How did I let him talk me into this? Missing so much work...even if it is only an hour a day! I never thought I'd have such a weakness for his whining...er, pleading,' Tatsumi thought with some amusement. For some reason unfathomable to him, the Kagetsukai found himself looking forward to lunchtime. Being in Watari's company so much lately had a profound affect on his mood. Although still the strict dictatorian, he had allowed minor infractions to slide. 

'Perhaps he put something in my coffee,' Tatsumi mused, although he knew this wasn't the case. After all, that morning he hadn't needed coffee to be awake. Just the thought of seeing Watari was enough to perk him up.

Operation: Tatsumi, day 4 - Subject is responding to subtle non-verbal cues (such as smiling back when I see him in the hall). I've also noticed that he seems more hesitant to scold me about minor things. I think he's afraid to damage the bond we're forging. It's really very sweet! Tsuzuki asked me about Tatsumi today, and I only told him that we'd been hanging out a lot. Of course, any idiot can see that both Seii and I have been missing each day at lunch. 

***********

Tatsumi smiled at the look on Watari's face when he insisted upon buying him ice cream that day. The scientist's lovely eyes widened greatly, and he paused before furrowing his brows quizzically. 

"Seii-kun, are you feeling sick? Out of sorts? Do you have a fever?"

The secretary nearly laughed aloud at this, although he wasn't sure why.

"No, Yutaka, I'm not sick. I can assure you, I am as lucid as ever. Is it so hard to believe that I want to do something nice for you?"

Watari blinked in sheepish surprise.

"Well, uh...yes?"

Tatsumi smiled warmly and beckoned the waitress over.

Operation: Tatsumi, day 5 - Seii bought me ice cream today at lunch!^.^ It was so sweet of him, ne. On another note, 003's gotten used to Seii's scent surrounding me as of late. I think she's even pleased with it... I don't know what possessed him to do that! Well...he didn't seem to mind it that much. Poor Tsuzuki begged him for sweets today, but Seii told him (smugly) that he'd spent all the sweets money on me. The look on Tsuzuki's face was priceless! ^^ I think I'm really enjoying this experiment. I hope after it's over, Seii can love someone without being afraid of it...

***********

A knock on the office door startled Tatsumi from his work. Glancing up at the clock, he realized with a start that it was five minutes past lunchtime. 

"Seii?" A blonde head peeked through the doorway.

He motioned the scientist inside.

"I didn't realize the time, Yutaka. I was trying to catch up on my work. I apologize. Just give me a moment to set these aside-"

"It's okay, Seii. Actually, I was thinking we could just stay here today...I'm kind of getting sick of burgers and fries, ya know? I shouldn't be taking up so much of your time...you should get your work done. I'll just see you later, okay?"

He stood to leave, but Tatsumi reached across the desk and touched his arm.

"No...please, don't go. I...I have all day to get this done. Please, sit back down."

Watari complied, smoothing out his lab coat. 

"So, uh...what's up?"

Tatsumi shook his head casually.

"Work. And you."

The scientist grinned.

"Me? Oh, so I have a category of my own now? Wow, I've almost moved up to Tsuzuki-status!"

Tatsumi frowned slightly.

"...What do you mean by that?"

Watari blinked.

"Just that, um, you know - you've got a soft spot for him, that's all. He's always been, well, _special _as far as you're concerned. Heh."

"...Is that so."

The blonde could see that Tatsumi was getting agitated, and put his hand on the man's shoulder soothingly.

"I don't mean it in a bad way. I think it's very sweet, actually. And I'm very happy to be getting some of that attention now. It makes me feel like I matter to someone."

Tatsumi stared at Watari disbelievingly.

"You matter to a lot of people, Watari-kun. I cannot think of a single person who doesn't care for you at EnMaCho. Especially me..."

Watari smiled.

"Well, I think Tsuzuki's got me beat there." He leaned in closer to the other man's face. "Let's face it, Seii - you've got a thing for Tsuzuki. I totally respect that."

"Yutaka...As far as Tsuzuki goes, it is true that I have feelings for him. But it's far more complicated than that, and even I realize that there could never be anything between him and I. It would be a complete mess."

Watari nodded, lowering his head slightly.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have brought it up. It was immature of me."

Tatsumi smiled.

"Not at all. Tsuzuki isn't something you should feel threatened by. You're much stronger than he."

Operation: Tatsumi, day 6 - Seii and I talked about Tsuzuki today, and how Seii feels about him. He admitted to loving Tsuzuki, but expressed the belief that such a relationship would not only be unsuccessful, but would damage their strong friendship. And there's Bon in the way, anyhow. I don't know... at least he's resigned to its being an impossible love. Oh! Umm...the experiment's going fine still. 

***********

Watari grinned at the small, adorable owl plushie sitting on the desk in front of him. It was golden-colored, with big, bright green eyes and the cutest plushie beak. 003 hooted in pleasure, hopping around the toy and pecking at it fondly. Watari went to touch it, but 003 squawked at him, indicating her disapproval.

"Sorry, girl! You're right - I don't let you touch my test tubes, so it's only fair that I can't touch your toy. Good point."

He chuckled as he watched the miniature owl fawn over the plushie. Tatsumi, in an increasingly common display of affection, had brought the owl toy to Watari only thirty minutes earlier.

"I saw it at a store," he had explained nervously, "and it made me think of you...and 003. So I, uh...bought it for your owl."

Watari had blinked in surprise. Already, 003 was circling it, hooting in curiosity. 

"Seii...I...thank you so much. That's...one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done. And, as you can see, 003 loves it."

The scientist hesitated momentarily, then tilted his head up and planted a quick kiss on the Kagetsukai's cheek. His eyes caught Tatsumi's, and the blonde turned his head slightly, pressing his lips softly against the other man's. As he broke away, he could see that Tatsumi's cheeks were as red as his felt. 

"I...I should get back to work, Yutaka. I'll see you later, all right?"

Watari nodded absently, his heart speeding up further when Tatsumi ran his hand over the blonde's arm as he left.

"Oh my god," he had whispered breathlessly.

As he ended the reminiscence, Watari realized that he was blushing again.


	8. Watari vs Tsuzuki

Here we go, folks! Chapter 8, and just in time for Valentine's Day. There's no romantic gooiness in this chapter, though - just pure angst. ^_^ I'm so evil. Hope you enjoy it, as always! Review time:

Ikki - I'm very glad you enjoyed reading the story. It's a relief to be assured that I'm keeping them in-character. Thanks for the support!

Kara Angitia - LOL. I totally agree with ya there.

LinaLau - ^_^ It can be hard to meet my self-imposed deadlines at times, since I'm a perpetual procrastinator. I do it for my readers, though. *dramatic sniffle*

Konnie-chan - Glad you enjoyed the kiss and the plushie. ^_^ Plushies are fluffy…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Watari found that he couldn't focus on a single task without his mind wandering to Tatsumi. The kiss they had shared that afternoon was fresh in his mind, overriding all other thoughts and quickly becoming top priority. Even when he tried to divert his attention elsewhere, Watari discovered that everything he focused on reminded him of the handsome secretary. The clock on the lab wall reminded him of Tatsumi's obsession with promptness, the five beakers he had broken not hours ago reminded him of the man's money-grubbing. 

'Why can't I stop thinking about him?' Watari wondered in frustration, unable to do anything but sit and contemplate, lest it remind him of the Kagetsukai.

'I mean, sure he's gorgeous…those smoldering blue eyes, that seductive half-smirk…the way he adjusts his glasses when he fidgets. But this…you'd think I was falling for him or something!'

The scientist's logical mind reminded him of the fact that he very well could be, but his emotional self balked at the idea of becoming attached to anyone.

"This is so confusing…!" he muttered, holding his head in his hands. The more he thought about it, the more complicated things seemed to get. He had kissed Tatsumi, after all. And he had enjoyed it far more than the experiment required. _Far_ more. In fact, throughout the day afterward, he had sporadically caught himself fantasizing about kissing his partner again…and again.

"I just need to get laid," he said to no one in particular, trying to rationalize his sudden and very distracting interest in Tatsumi.

"I can't figure this out alone," he decided, standing and exiting the lab. He had to find Tsuzuki.

*************

Tsuzuki Asato couldn't get enough of the cinnamon rolls in the break room. 'So soft and sugary…especially after you pour sugar on them!' His thoughts reminded him of an American song he had heard before. 'What's that, cinnamon rolls? You say "pour some sugar on me"? Why, I'd be happy to! Just don't tell 'Soka - he gets jealous easily, ya know.' He dangled the sugar container over the plate, shaking it rhythmically. 

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something private?"

Tsuzuki whirled around, facing the doorway in which Watari stood, a bemused look on his face. The violet-eyed Shinigami laughed.

"Naw, we were just finishing up here. What's up?"

The blonde entered the room, taking a seat next to where the other Shinigami stood.

"I need to talk to you about something personal. I figure since it's a subject you're familiar with, you can help me figure it out."

Tsuzuki sat as well, stuffing a cinnamon roll in his mouth.

"Fut ish ih?" he asked.

Watari smirked at the scene. Clearing his throat, he began.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about Tatsumi."

Tsuzuki swallowed his food and blinked.

"What about? You two are going out, right?"

The scientist furrowed his brows.

"No, we're not. We've just been on a few dates, that's all."

To his surprise, Tsuzuki actually looked disappointed.

"Oh…sorry. What's on your mind, then?"

Watari shifted uncomfortably.

"Tsuzuki, I'm…" He started to say he was scared, but stopped himself. "I'm worried. I can't really explain the situation, but suffice to say that it's a mess I've gotten myself into. I mean, everything was fine until I kissed him-"

"You kissed Tatsumi? Way to go, Watari!"

The scientist gave him a withering look.

"Tsuzuki, focus here, please."

The violet-eyed man looked sheepish.

"Sorry. So why's that a bad thing?"

Watari sighed.

"…I think I'm beginning to really care about him."

Tsuzuki grinned warmly.

"That's great, Watari. I think you're just what Tatsumi needs."

The blonde growled.

"No, it _isn't_ great! It's awful! I'm not supposed to care about him like this! I'm supposed to help him open up so he can move on from you, not so he can be with me!"

Tsuzuki frowned deeply.

"Watari…I don't know what's going on, but let me tell you this: When Tatsumi cares about someone, he doesn't let go easily. It's obvious to me that he cares a great deal for you, and I think you feel the same." He lowered his head, catching Watari's eyes with a stern, serious expression. "Don't hurt him, Watari. I don't think he could handle it. Whatever you're doing, knock it off and be honest with him _and_ with yourself."

Watari blinked in shock. 

"Tsuzuki…"

The other man shook his head, standing.

"I mean it, Watari. Tatsumi's not the kind of person who you can just toy with for whatever selfish reason you have."

The blonde stood as well, genuinely angered.

"It's not selfish! I'm doing this for his own sake!"

Tsuzuki snorted.

"His sake? Really? Are you sure it's not so you can feel justified in screwing with his emotions? That sounds pretty damn selfish to me! Keep telling yourself it's for his sake, Watari, but the truth is this: You can't stand the fact that you need him so much. You're afraid to tie yourself to him, to admit that you actually _have_ a heart."

The Shinigami stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Watari stood numbly, unable to so much as blink. He wanted to maintain his anger with Tsuzuki, but the truth of his friend's words and the harshness of his tone made all anger die away.

"I…but I…" He felt his amber eyes filling with burning tears. He closed his eyes tightly, letting the tears fall. "He deserves so much better than me…"

***********

Tatsumi didn't know what concerned him more - Tsuzuki's angry demeanor, or Watari's absence from the staff meeting being held. The blue-eyed secretary had a sinking feeling that the two circumstances were somehow related, but he held his tongue. There was no use interrupting the meeting because of his worries. There would be time later to approach Tsuzuki and seek out Watari. It was lucky that Kachou was directing the meeting this time, because Tatsumi wasn't paying a bit of attention. It wasn't like Watari to be absent to a meeting. And it was even more unusual for Tsuzuki to be acting so sullen and antisocial. Yes, something must have happened involving the two men he held dearest in his life. His eyes were caught by Hisoka's, the boy's expression one clearly of concern. 'He must have more insight into the situation than I do,' Tatsumi realized, remembering the boy's empathy. He nodded to Hisoka, and the young Shinigami reluctantly turned his attention back to the meeting.

As the staff meeting came to a close, the Kagetsukai found himself cornering Hisoka. The boy waited expectantly as the man gathered his thoughts.

"I presume you have some idea of what is going on with Tsuzuki-san?"

The green-eyed Shinigami shook his head.

"I have no idea, actually. I can only sense that he's very agitated and upset about something… I also sense a mixture of anger and concern directed toward Watari-san."

Tatsumi nodded, expecting no less.

"What can you sense from Watari?"

The boy frowned, focusing for a moment. He looked up finally, his expression one of concern.

"…All I can sense from Watari-san is incredible doubt and pain…none of which has anything to do with Tsuzuki." Hisoka bit his lip, hesitating. "In fact, it has to do with you, Tatsumi-san…"


	9. Failed experiment?

Whoo, chapter 9 already! I guess it kinda wrote itself… Anyway, loads of half-mushy angst here. It was really fun to write it, although I hope Watari-kun's little 'fit' isn't too OOC or out of context. .;; I hope it blends in and seems appropriate, ya know? Well, here ya go. This ain't nearly over yet, my friends. Gods, so many reviews! And such colorful ones, at that! I feel so loved. This note and the reviews took up a whole page by themselves! 

Kara Angitia - LOL. Yes, he does have a butt. It'd be kinda weird if Watari didn't, ya know? *ponders this for a moment* I'm so glad you like the story! I still get nervous every time I post a new chapter, because I'm afraid people will hate it. ^_^;; Paranoid much?

Konnie-chan - It must be. I think that should be a national holiday, in fact. *Waves a banner supporting the "lets write Watari being cutely confused" week. Holiday! Everyone off school! No work! Close the post offices! Whew. Yeah, I think Watari and Tsuzuki have a really close friendship going on *mind wanders to that one scene in the Devil's Trill arc…* and I'm sure they'll make up soon. ^_~

nobody's home - If I tell ya what happens next, I hafta kill ya. *winks* Or you could just read this chapter and find out! The nicest, really? Wow. Thank you so much! If that's true, then damn…I've read some _really_ good ones out there.

Ikki - Hee hee. *blushes from all the compliments* Sankyuu, Ikki!

LinaLau - I don't know why it wouldn't let you log in…but I'm glad you can now! And even more glad it allowed you to update! ^.^ Oh, it's only _starting_ to get interesting? *pokes* Kidding! You know I luv ya.

pratz - What more can I say to that except thank you and I'm glad? *feels like a broken record* ^__^

Kata - I'm glad you like it so much. Yes, I think it's important to show that Tsuzuki's as multi-faceted as the rest of us nutcases. Plus, I've noticed that he doesn't screw around when it comes to his friends. Even when one friend's hurting another, he's there to set things right. ^_^ No wonder everyone wants to bone him!

Gohma - Holy crap, thank you! *mega huggles* Such a compliment! So you're a fellow angst-lover, huh? Don'tcha worry then, there will be plenty. I make it my life goal to make characters suffer…*sweatdrop* Err, yeah. LOL. I love humorous reviews like this one. Thanks again, Gohma!

Lothlorien1 - Well, they haven't fallen out yet, but you never know what the future holds! I'd hate for you to have to keep biting your nails - I hope this chapter helps with that. ^_~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Operation: Tatsumi, day 7 - This is it. No more of this. I'm officially ending this experiment for personal reasons. In fact, I may just burn this notebook and any evidence that I even tried this! It's too much. Tsuzuki's right, I'm just fucking with Tatsumi's heart. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry I ever began this thing - it was a horrible idea from the start! Signing off,

The Ever-Deceitful Watari Yutaka, lousy scientist and worse friend

**************

Tatsumi walked briskly down the hall, anxious to reach the lab. Hisoka's words worried him more than anything, and he found that his concern for Watari outweighed his concern for Tsuzuki. 'Maybe he's upset because I made an excuse to leave right after he kissed me… I certainly don't know what else it could be. Or maybe it…no, Kurosaki-kun said that it concerns me, not Tsuzuki.' The Kagetsukai could feel his heart speed up as he approached the simple lab door, noting that it was closed (a rarity). His apprehension began to catch up with him, however. Tatsumi stood in front of the door for a minute, staring at it intensely. Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.

"Yutaka…?"

He glanced around the room, his eyes fixing on a sight that made his breath catch in his throat. Watari sat curled up on his make-shift bed, knees held against his chest. The scientist's blonde hair fanned around him, but his quiet sobs could be heard audibly.

Tatsumi approached him slowly, unsure of how to proceed.

"…Yutaka, what's wrong?"

The blonde man jumped slightly, whirling around to face his co-worker. His usually bright amber eyes were bloodshot, casting a frightened look to the Kagetsukai.

"Seii…" He wiped his hand across his eyes clumsily. "Please go away…"

Tatsumi shook his head sternly. 

"Never. Tell me what's wrong, 'Taka," he said gently, lowering himself next to his friend. He bit his lip. "Kurosaki-kun said that it's something about me…?"

Watari looked up meekly, fresh tears falling from his pained eyes. He wanted so badly to throw himself into the taller man's arms, to accept the comfort he knew would be offered. He wanted to admit his mistakes, to bare his soul to his partner. But he couldn't. There was too much at stake.

"Please…Seii…I-I can't. I _can't_ say what's hurting me. I'm sorry." He fought to steady his breathing and calm himself.

Tatsumi lowered his eyes, swallowing heavily with a feeling of growing dread.

"Did I do something to upset you…? If I did, I-"

Watari made a small noise, shaking his head.

"No, Seii…no. You didn't do _anything_ wrong! I just…" He stopped, grasping onto Tatsumi's suit jacket. He almost felt like he could talk without breaking down.

"Seii…get me drunk." He ignored the man's incredulous look. "If…if you take me out and get me drunk, I might actually be brave enough to tell you. Please, Seii!"

Tatsumi shifted, very unhappy with this turn of events.

"Yutaka…it would be too dangerous for you. I won't risk you getting hurt somehow…"

The scientist tightened his grip to the point that the secretary actually winced.

"Fine. You wanna know what's wrong with me? I want you! I want you so much that I can't fucking think! It's like I'm not in control of myself anymore, Tatsumi! It scares the hell out of me! I don't want this. I just want to run away from it, from you! But I can't…I care too much for you. I wasn't…wasn't supposed to feel like this! You weren't supposed to like me so much! Gods, Seii…I just don't know. I don't know what to do… Help me, please just _help me_…"

Watari broke down, leaning into Tatsumi's chest, sobbing more than before. The Kagetsukai's arms closed around his slender frame securely, his hands stroking the blonde's back soothingly. In all truth, Tatsumi was lost as to why his partner felt this way, and somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that he should be concerned and/or suspicious over it. However, the only thing he currently cared about was the distraught man in his arms. 

"Shhh… It's all right, 'Taka. It's all right…I promise. Shhh…"

The scientist turned his head slightly so he could speak.

"Y-you're n-not…m-mad a-at me…?"

Tatsumi shook his head, pressing his lips to that soft blonde hair.

"Of _course_ not, 'Taka. Of course not…"

Still doubtful, Watari forced himself to disengage from the comforting embrace.

"R-r-really?"

The secretary gave a small, reassuring smile.

"Really. It's okay, 'Taka. I…I can empathize with your feelings…I'm scared, too," he admitted softly.

Watari stared at Tatsumi for a brief moment, his amber eyes desperately searching the other man's blue ones to ascertain the truth of his statement. Apparently satisfied, he wrapped his arms around Tatsumi's middle, burrowing his head into the strong, warm chest. The Kagetsukai held him for several minutes, then nudged him gently.

"Come on, Yutaka…let's go outside, hm? You need to get out of this stuffy lab."

He carefully pulled the younger man to his feet, guiding him out of the building to one of the benches outside. They sat in companionable silence for a bit, until Watari spoke.

"Seii…I want to apologize for, um…"

Tatsumi shook his head.

"There's no need for that, Yutaka. Like I said, I'm scared, too. It's…difficult to open up to somebody in such an intimate way, even after knowing them for so long."

Watari smiled in complete agreement, resting his head tentatively on the Kagetsukai's shoulder, closing his eyes in contentment as a strong arm was wrapped around him.

Tatsumi stared at the slender man he held, weighing his own feelings with the consequences he knew would arise. 'He's my subordinate, he blows that damn lab up at _least_ once a week, and he wastes money on ridiculous experiments that usually fail. On the other hand, he knows just how to make me smile, he's honest…and blunt, he accepts my feelings for Tsuzuki-san, he's _stunningly_ beautiful and intelligent, he's mentally competent (if not stable), he sees past my frugalness, and he's willing to weather my emotional handicaps. Yutaka is…is someone I could definitely see myself spending eternity with in Meifu. Hell, I put up with him every day as it is. Just when you think you know him, he surprises you with the unexpected. I think that maybe it's time to accept that.' Nodding to himself, the secretary shifted his body, causing the blonde to lift his head.

"Yutaka…there's something I would like to ask you. I think that today, we've grown even closer through this turmoil, and…well…"

He forced himself to gaze into his partner's curious amber eyes.

"Perhaps it's time that we considered…dating. I mean, as…"

Watari blinked slowly.

"Boyfriends?" he offered.

Tatsumi nodded gratefully. 

"You know, Seii, I think I would like that very much."

The Kagetsukai stared at him.

"Then you'll…"

"Be your boyfriend? Of course." 

Watari smirked, amused by the man's amazed expression. 'Oh Seii…is your confidence really that low, even now? Did you really doubt that I'd say yes?' He placed two fingers on Tatsumi's chin, guiding the man's head downward. The blonde pressed his lips tenderly against his partner's, reveling in the minute sound the other man made. 'Gods…but what am I doing? This is SO not how I planned things…'


	10. Violet and Amber

Once again, I'm back. This time with chapter 10 (as if that isn't obvious). Now, before anyone points it out, I know that this is a shorter chapter, and I'm _very_ sorry. Believe me, I wish it was longer, too. However, I just can't think of a damn thing to add to it that would fit in right now (evil writer's block!), so I just stopped before I screwed it up. I'm beginning to wonder where I'm going with this story... Right now everything seems very cozy for Watari & Tatsumi, so I can't very well write a few chapters of nothing but mush (_eww_). So to fill up the space before the Tatari angst resumes, I'm considering adding an element of Tsusoka. What do you guys think? Would that please you or make you run away? Any other suggestions are most welcome. Maybe I just need some sleep... .;;

Anyway, let me know your opinions and if you liked this chapter! Oh, and I did a little Watari pic the other day. Thought you might be amused by it: really has nothing to do with the story, but hey, it's Watari. Review time:

LinaLau - *grins* Man, I wish I knew you in real life. I have a feeling we'd get along famously. As always, I'm glad you liked the chapter. I aim to please!

Nikki - I'm glad you liked the cinnamon buns part. It just seemed so appropriate for Tsuzuki, ya know? At least he didn't molest them (although singing to your desserts isn't exactly normal...).

Kara Angitia - There's always another chapter! Well, not always...but this isn't done yet. Not nearly. I plan to drag it out until Tatsumi strangles me in my sleep with those shadows of his. .;;

Lothlorien1 - LOL. *meeps* I'm glad you didn't kill me! Naw, the official end of the experiment doesn't mean the end of the story...or Watari's troubles.

nobody's home - Yes he will! Yes he will! Just not yet... :p

Watercolor-Dragon - *lets out the breath I've been holding* I'm glad he didn't seem OOC. Ugh, I sympathize with your computer problems. Mine's broken down twice in about 3 years... . Anyway, glad you liked it!

Ikki - Sankyuu again, Ikki! *huggles*

Kyraille Fade - Aww, you're not a bad...er...story-follower-person! Not at all. I'm glad ya liked Watari's angst. I sure enjoyed writing it! ^_^

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tsuzuki sighed, stabbing his fork into the piece of lemon pie he was supposed to be eating. 

"Eat...the...pie..." Hisoka growled, tired of seeing his partner moping around.

The older man looked up mournfully.

"But 'Soka...I was way too harsh on Watari. He only means the best for Tatsumi... I'm just afraid that they're both going to get hurt."

"Baka...Watari-san can take care of himself. I'm sure he's forgiven you."

Tsuzuki blinked, looking hopefully at his partner.

"You think so?"

Hisoka nodded, going back to the newspaper he was reading.

"Of course."

The violet-eyed man smiled warmly, getting up from his chair and hugging his partner from behind. Hisoka made a protesting noise, shrugging the older man off half-heartedly.

"Sankyuu, 'Soka! I'm glad you think it'll be okay."

The boy looked uncomfortable for a moment, unused to being thanked or shown any sort of affection, even after having worked so intimately with Tsuzuki Asato.

**************

Watari blinked sleepily, not wanting to open his eyes but aware that he had to eventually. Slowly, he opened them, wincing at the sunlight that filtered through the flimsy curtain on the window. It took him several minutes to gather his bearings and realize that he was in his bed at home.

'Oh... Worked some at the lab last night, after Seii asked me out...then came home...and slept. So...shit!' He glanced over to the nightstand, gazing at the clock in horror. 'I'm already two hours late for work! Oh gods, Seii's gonna kill me!! I gotta hurry...gotta hurry.'

Jumping out of bed, Watari shook his hair out of his face, hastily throwing a hair tie around it. He sunk to the uncomfortable carpeting, digging through piles of dirty and clean laundry that were intermingled. 

"Where's the turtleneck?! Dammit, where did I put it?"

He threw clothing over his shoulder frantically, only pausing when he heard a small thud and a muffled 'hoot'.

"003? Are you under there?" he asked, peeking under a sweater. The little owl fluttered indignantly, squawking as she flew away to safer territory. 

"Sorry!" he yelled to her as he continued his digging.

***************

Tatsumi pointed to the projector screen, indicating the latest number of murders. Tsuzuki let out a snore from his place at the table, causing Hisoka to glare and shrug apologetically. The Kagetsukai began to clear his throat, but was interrupted as the door burst open and Watari rushed in, nearly running into Tsuzuki's chair.

"I'm _so_ sorry I'm late!" he gasped, pausing to catch his breath. He dared a glance up, shrinking back slightly at the irritated look on Tatsumi's face.

"Watari-san...please make an attempt to be on time from now on."

The blonde nodded meekly, missing the slight softening of his partner's blue eyes.

"Perhaps we can adjourn this meeting for now and continue in a few hours," he suggested, much to everyone's relief. Trading glances with Hisoka, Tatsumi left the room. The youngest Shinigami stood, but was stopped by a hand on his wrist.

"Where are you going?" Tsuzuki whispered rather frantically.

The green-eyed boy rolled his eyes.

"Unlike you, I actually have work to do."

Shrugging the hand off, he left the room. Tsuzuki glanced over nervously, worrying his lip. Watari noticed this and smiled slightly in response. 

"It's pretty bad when you're here before I am," he quipped.

Tsuzuki sighed, tugging at his jacket nervously.

"Watari...I'm really sorry for what I said yesterday. I was way too harsh on you, and I have no business getting involved in the situation. I wish I'd never said those things. I understand if you don't want to talk to me now..."

"Tsuzuki," the scientist interjected firmly, "I'm not mad at you. You were completely right in what you said. I just wish I had realized it sooner... You have every right to be angry with me. I know Seii means a lot to you, and I'm sure I would have done the same thing you did. I'm actually glad that we had that fight, because...well...Seii asked me out."

Tsuzuki blinked blankly.

"He did?"

Watari nodded. The violet-eyed man slowly began to grin until he resembled the Cheshire Cat. Jumping up, he clasped the other man's hands in his own excitedly.

"That's great, Watari! I'm so glad! You said yes, didn't you?"

The scientist rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Of course I said yes." His expression became more serious. "Furthermore...I ended the experiment. The whole point of it was to make Seii open up so he could find someone...I never intended for him to fall for me like this. And I really never anticipated that my own feelings would change in response. But I'm glad that it happened that way now, because I really care about Seii."

"Are you going to tell Tatsumi about it?" Tsuzuki inquired gently.

Watari sighed, lowering his head.

"If I had a choice in the matter, then no. But I don't think I can live with myself if I don't tell him eventually. I just don't know what I'll say. I mean, telling someone 'hey, I used you as an experiment that turned awry but now I genuinely like you' doesn't sound very good, does it? And Seii's so sensitive about relationships...I'm really afraid that he'll just shut me out if I tell him." He looked up, his amber eyes blurry. "I don't want to lose him, Tsuzuki! But I have to tell him. I just know he'll leave me, though!"

Tsuzuki rested a hand on his friend's shoulder, rubbing it soothingly.

"Hey...listen to me. He will be hurt by it, that's for sure, but I'm sure he'll understand once you explain it..."

"I used him, Tsuzuki. I used him!"

The older man smiled sadly.

"That may be true, but you've hurt yourself as much as he'll be hurt. Maybe more, even. Just let him see that, Watari. Let him see how much suffering you've caused yourself on his behalf, how much it's tearing you up inside now. No matter how angry or betrayed he feels, Tatsumi won't be able to turn his back to that. He won't let you hurt yourself more. He cares way too much for you, both as a friend and more, to let you suffer. Even if it means he has to come to terms with his pain sooner. He won't leave you, because he can't stand the thought of failing someone he loves. He already feels like he failed me, and look how that ended. Trust me, Watari, he won't leave you alone to ruminate on this. He'll be angry and hurt, but he won't leave you. Just...give him time to deal with it and don't push him. Let him know how much he means to you. He'll hear it, even if he doesn't seem to be listening."

Watari stared at his friend, astounded not only by his wisdom, but by his insight into Meifu's secretary. 

"Tsuzuki...I can see why everyone loves you so much. Bon's a very lucky guy."

He smiled at the other man's surprised and perplexed look. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around Tsuzuki, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek.

"You never cease to amaze me," he said as he left the room, leaving the older man sitting in bewilderment. 


	11. Cause for concern

*blinks* Three days? That's _all_ it took me? Wow. I guess I have this paranoia about being late for anything. ^^;; Errm...what was I gonna say? Oh yeah - I **think** they're called Cinnapons. Honestly, I'm not sure. If I'm wrong, let me know so I can fix it. *mumbles* Don't know why they can't just be called Cinnabuns or something... Boy, once I got started, this chapter wasn't as difficult as I had imagined it would be. I hope it's okay...it's kinda vague at the beginning. Yeah. Anyone else on devART that I haven't seen yet? *bounces around in excitement* I feel so...connected to something. .;; And sorry to anyone who was gonna review chapter 10 but didn't get to it before I updated again! 

Finferwin - LOL. No problem, I'm glad to be of service!

Kara Angitia - *grins* I'm just glad it wasn't cavity-inducing sweet. *shudders at the thought*

Konnie-chan - Well, I'm anxious to see how he's gonna tell him, too. It's sad when I don't even know, isn't it? ^_^;;

Kyraille Fade - I didn't want to make Tsuzuki a one-dimensional static character, so I just had to do him justice and show his "other" side. I'm glad you approved of it, m'dear!

nobody's home - Heh, thanks. I don't think I roasted my poor brain _too_ badly. I hope not, anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There used to be times when Tatsumi Seiichiro dreamt of holding Tsuzuki Asato in his arms, of feeling those soft lips against his own. He had always known the beautiful violet-eyed man better than any other Shinigami. That was, of course, until Hisoka entered the picture. Tatsumi had been relieved that his incompetent co-worker had such a responsible partner, but also extremely saddened. It had seemed that this boy who had just arrived already had a connection with Tsuzuki that surpassed his own. Jealousy reared its ugly head, but there was no outlet for it, since he found that he was very fond of Kurosaki-kun. Plus, all the problems with Muraki had distracted everyone to a point that there was no time for hurt feelings. Despite his heartache, or perhaps because of it, he had failed to notice the way Watari Yutaka's hair glinted in the sunlight like gold, or how his amber eyes darkened when he became emotional. It had slipped past Tatsumi that Watari was the more stable, more grounded version of Tsuzuki, except no one seemed to notice him. No, he hadn't realized that his future was there every day, staring him in the face with a genki smile and a plea for a bigger budget. He took it for granted that his pseudo-partner was there for him whenever Tatsumi needed him, whether professionally or personally. Nor had he realized that every time the blonde looked at Tsuzuki and Hisoka together, his eyes took on a wistful and resigned look. Tatsumi Seiichiro had never been the most observant of men, nor the most logical. His emotions ruled him far more than he liked to admit, and he spent most of his time denying them, too busy to accept them. Often, he had looked to his partner with a hint of envy, awed at the way the blonde scientist seemed to remain emotionally detached in his cases, the way he approached every one of life's problems with logic and rationality. Tatsumi had failed to realize that Watari Yutaka repressed his emotions much in the same way as the Kagetsukai did, except that it was more of an automatic defense rather than something he had to struggle with. In fact, no one seemed to realize that fact about their cheerful co-worker. Only Tsuzuki came close to the truth, but he respected his friend's privacy too much to pry. 

Perhaps if Watari had analyzed himself more, he would have realized that his emotions were building up, the pressure of their containment gradually becoming too much. Maybe he could have prepared himself for the eventual explosion, recognized the fact that he was not emotionally capable of handling such a feat as Operation: Tatsumi. But his pride kept him from doing so, and in the end he was in way over his head. Even as he struggled with the guilt of using his partner, Watari was too stubborn to admit that he had developed a weakness for the older man. He had tried in desperation to save his experiment, refusing to see just why it was failing - he was falling in love. That was not a variable he had planned for, nor one that he was willing to accept.

Of course, while Tatsumi Seiichiro and Watari Yutaka brooded over their problems, Tsuzuki Asato and Kurosaki Hisoka had demons of their own to deal with.

**********

"It's not like I heard you the first fifty times," Hisoka mumbled grumpily.

Tsuzuki pouted, making his lip tremble theatrically.

"But 'Soka...it's so _cute_! Tatsumi and Watari together... Don't you think it's cute, too?"

The blonde boy rolled his eyes, giving up on his paperwork. He turned and glared at his partner, impervious to the pathetic look on the older man's face.

"Grow up, Tsuzuki. It's not like you won a year-supply of Cinnapons."

Tsuzuki sat next to the boy, resuming his pouting.

"This is better than Cinnapons! Sweets come and go, but love lasts!"

Hisoka blinked, raising an eyebrow.

"Tsuzuki just admits that sweets aren't a permanent staple in life...someone call the papers."

The violet-eyed man made a surprised noise, grabbing the smaller Shinigami by the shoulders.

"Oh my god, 'Soka just made a joke! Somebody call the papers!"

"Baka, get off me!" he yelled, shrugging the hands away uncomfortably. 

Tsuzuki did as he was told, trying to mask the brief flash of hurt in his eyes. He laughed half-heartedly, scratching his neck.

"Aw, c'mon 'Soka, don't be that way."

The boy turned his icy stare to his partner.

"Then **don't touch me**."

Tsuzuki averted his eyes, sighing softly.

"I'm sorry, 'Soka... You're right. I'm just your partner, after all. Nothing more."

He gave a wavering smile and stood, exiting the office quickly. Hisoka stared after him, surprised and extremely confused. He could feel waves of sadness and loneliness emanating from his partner. 'Maybe I was a bit harsh... I know how much he craves physical contact.' He bit his lip, unsure of whether to ignore it or go after Tsuzuki. Reluctantly, he decided that ignoring it would be the best course of action.

************

Tsuzuki made his way swiftly to Watari's lab, entering the open doorway and flopping down on a vacant chair miserably. 003 hooted, causing the scientist to take note of his unexpected guest.

"Tsuzuki? What's the matter? Hold on - let me put this away." He turned back to his test tubes, carefully setting them aside and jotting something in a battered notebook. He walked over to his friend's chair, kneeling in front of the despondent man.

"Okay, now tell me what's wrong."

Tsuzuki sighed, staring at the floor.

"Hisoka told me not to touch him."

Watari raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Doesn't he always?"

The older man shook his head.

"Not like this. Why does he always act this way, like I'm a roach under his foot? I thought...I thought that after what happened with Touda, he would ease up some, you know? But it's almost worse than before."

Watari tilted his head thoughtfully. 

"Tsuzuki...I don't know if this makes much sense, but bear with me, okay? You know how Seii's always mean and uptight and just generally an ass?" At his friend's affirmative nod, he continued. "Well, you also know that that's an act. A defense mechanism. He's afraid to act any other way for fear of showing weakness and leaving himself vulnerable to hurt. That's what Bon does, too. He pushes you away and acts like he does because he's afraid to show you how much he really cares. Think about it: If he didn't care about you more than anything, would he have rushed into Touda's flames and nearly died just to save you? He didn't even know that you _could_ be saved, Tsuzuki, but he did it anyway. Because he loves you. Trust me, no one runs into deadly flames for you unless they love you a helluva lot. Even Seii didn't go in after you, and we _all_ know how he feels. Doesn't that make sense to you?"

Tsuzuki blinked, thinking hard about Watari's words. 'Maybe Watari's right...'Soka did save me, after all. Why bother with that if he didn't care? But it still hurts so much. Does he even realize how much he hurts me? I know he's an empath, but he's told me before that I can shield very well when I try... Maybe that's it - maybe I shield too much for him to understand! Well, if that's the case, I can fix that problem. I really hope that's what's wrong. Otherwise...'

"Tsuzuki?"

The older Shinigami blinked rapidly, brought back to reality by a pale hand waving in front of his face. Amber eyes stared at him with veiled concern.

"Are you with me?"

Tsuzuki nodded, smiling reassuringly. 

"Sorry. I think you're right, Watari. Of course you're right. It's silly of me to even think otherwise. Thanks for the help!"

As he watched his friend bounce unconvincingly out of the lab, Watari shook his head sadly. 'Tsuzuki...how can you just go back to acting like nothing's wrong? You're gonna kill yourself that way...'

*************

The next day was tense for Hisoka. Not because he felt guilty for hurting Tsuzuki's feelings, but because of the intense emotion he could feel from his partner. 

"Are you going to sit there or are you going to _do_ something for once?" he snapped, fed up with Tsuzuki's sleeping on the job. The man's head lifted from the desk, and Hisoka felt a small wave of hurt coming from him.

"Sorry. I'll, uh...I'll do something. Just, um..." The elder Shinigami sighed. "I...I uh, I actually only got two hours of sleep last night, so I'm kinda tired."

Hisoka's eyes narrowed, but he could feel the other man's exhaustion.

"Your point being? It's your own fault that you stayed up late, idiot. Stop using excuses to be lazy."

Tsuzuki blinked heavily, a wavering smile plastered on his face.

"I know..." he mumbled, a wave of resignation hitting his partner hard.

The boy shook his head, his own concern growing. 'What's wrong with him?'

"Tsuzuki...if you're not feeling well, you should go home. I'm sure Tatsumi-san would agree."

The violet-eyed man raised his eyes, a hesitant feeling of hopefulness coming from him.

"Are you worried 'bout me?"

Hisoka coughed lightly in unease. 'Of _course_ I'm worried, you idiot!' Instead of voicing this, however, he only shrugged noncommittally. 

"You're a burden if you stay here and aggravate me while I'm trying to work."

The younger Shinigami let out a small moan of pain as a fresh wave of despair hit him. Dimly, he could hear Tsuzuki standing over him, saying something. The man's extreme worry and growing sense of guilt were too much to add to the empathic soup, though, and Hisoka passed out.


	12. Confidential Confessions

This one is a bit longer than usual (5 pages). As always, I really enjoyed writing it, and it nearly wrote itself! There's a lot more dialogue in this chapter than the previous, so that means more plot progression. I have no idea how long this fic is gonna end up being...it's not close to being over yet, though. There's so much I still want to incorporate into it, and the more of it I write, the more ideas come to me. 9_9 Reviews:

digitalized - It's not switching, but it's taking a small detour. I plan to incorporate elements of both pairings into future chapters. ^^ I'm glad you like it so much!

Kara Angitia - He's fine, don't worry! *gives you a paper bag to breath into* ^^;;

Nikki - Thanks for the background info, Nikki! ^_^ I appreciate it.

LinaLau - Well, you know my DA account now, but for those who don't: Narissah. Yeah, I'm inconsistent in what I call myself. Sue me. ^.~ Or not!

Gohma - *falls over and dies in shock* WOW. That is **the best **compliment I've ever received on my writing. I'm blushing, seriously! Thank you _so_ much!

Konnie-chan - ^^ I'm glad it seems to just keep getting better. I hope I can keep that up...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hisoka shivered, noticing as he awakened that he had a horrid headache. He was aware of a thick blanket atop him, and dimly, the presence of other Shinigami in the room.

"...'Soka? Are you okay? How do you feel?" Tsuzuki's voice reached his ears first, followed by a lighter voice...

"Tsuzuki, you've got to _move_ so I can check on him!" 

There was a rustling of fabric and the sound of a chair being dragged away from the...bed he was in. He wasn't sure if it actually was a bed. Maybe a couch. Or even the floor still. Hisoka's mind alerted him to the fact that the second voice belonged to Watari, as did the pair of slender hands that were currently lilting over his chest and forehead. The boy gave the mental command for his arms to move, to bat his comrade away, but his body failed to respond immediately.

"He seems okay...fever's down, although he's still too cold," he heard Watari murmuring. To Hisoka's surprise, no emotions bombarded his senses. His mind was blissfully blank, and he was grateful for the unusual reprieve. 

"Is he awake?" he heard Tsuzuki ask softly. How odd...there weren't any emotions from him, either.

"I can't tell...I think he's halfway there. You should go now, Tsuzuki. Get some paperwork done. Or just...have an extended lunch break. I'm sure Tatsumi wouldn't mind...?"

There was a pause, a moment of silence before a third voice spoke.

"Come, Tsuzuki-san. You can pick up something for Konoe-san while you're out," Tatsumi said in his usual terse voice. Hisoka thought he almost heard a hint of caring mixed in, however. But there were no emotions. After several minutes of relishing in this fact, the lack of constant static began to make the boy extremely uncomfortable. It was...eerie. He heard the door close softly, followed by the scratching noise of a pen marking paper.

"How do you feel, Bon?"

Hisoka paused, attempting to gauge whether he was lucid enough to respond.

"H...head hurts. What...?"

He managed to open his eyes slightly, a blurred image of the blonde scientist entering his field of vision.

"You passed out in the office. Do you know why?" he was asked.

Hisoka started to shake his head, but stopped the action abruptly when pain shot through him.

"Tsuzuki...so upset, I couldn't-"

Watari reached out to him, resting a hand on his shoulder gently. But no emotions, still.

"Just checking. What are you feeling right now?"

The boy blinked in confusion. Hadn't he just been asked that question, more or less?

"I don't...wait. Why aren't there any emotions?"

Watari smiled gently, perching himself on the edge of the clinic bed.

"I gave you an inhibitor to temporarily block most of your empathy. It should help while you gather your strength. That really took a lot out of you."

"What happened?" the youth asked, staring at the older man intensely. 

Watari sighed, tapping his foot on the tile absently.

"Tsuzuki and I had a talk...about you. Don't ask me for details, because they're not mine to divulge. I guess he decided, based on what we discussed, that he needed to, well...lower his shielding some. I don't really know how much, but apparently enough that you went into shock over it."

"Shock?" Hisoka whispered.

The scientist nodded.

"Sorry Bon, it's kinda my fault, since he came to me for advice. I think he just wanted to open up to you a little more, maybe so you'd stop getting so angry with him all the time... I know he didn't mean for this to happen." The blonde sighed wearily. 

"I actually had to give you that inhibitor because Tsuzuki's reaction to your passing out was only causing your condition to worsen. It should wear off in...three hours," he explained, glancing up at the white clock on the wall.

"Three hours..." the boy whispered to himself, staring at the clock blankly. Watari bit his lip, uncomfortable with the tension in the air. He patted Hisoka's pillow lightly.

"Hey Bon, listen...don't be upset with Tsuzuki. He just-"

"Why?" Hisoka interrupted. "Why does he always think I'm so upset with him?"

Watari sweatdropped, lowering his head and shaking it slightly in frustration.

"You care about Tsuzuki, don't you?"

Hisoka's eyes widened and he looked away with an angry expression. Watari rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Bon! Do you care about him or not? This is important!"

The boy's eyes snapped fully open in surprise and an odd sense of intimidation.

"Yes..."

Watari nodded, continuing.

"Well, _you_ may know that, _I_ may know that, _Tatsumi_ may know that, but Tsuzuki only sees what's on the surface. He has such a low opinion of himself already that he can't see past your yelling at him and insulting him. Every time you degrade him, he truly believes that you mean it like it sounds superficially. Sometimes, he actually thinks you hate him, Bon. I can see it in his eyes. I know this sounds very unfair to you, but hear me out. Tsuzuki loves you...a _lot_, whether you can accept or even believe it. You treat him like crap, even though you care. I know you think you're protecting him, but it's killing him inside. Bon, he needs to know that you care. Your opinion matters to him more than anyone's ever has or ever will. He...he worships the ground you walk. I don't mean to sound intimidating, but it's something you need to think about. Just...think about it, Bon. Now would be a good time to talk to Tsuzuki, while your empathy is still dampened."

The scientist smiled softly, running his hand over the boy's soft hair despite the knowledge of how uncomfortable it made Hisoka. 'Maybe with his empathy dampened, he won't mind as much.' He stood, casting a fond glance down at his comrade and friend.

"Good luck, Bon. I know it's hard, but you're a strong kid. Just remember what I told you, okay?"

He waited until the boy nodded, then left.

***********

"I'm sure he forgives you," Tatsumi said for the nth time, eyeing Tsuzuki warily. The violet-eyed Shinigami had been moping ever since Hisoka passed out. Tatsumi didn't need to be an empath to feel the guilt emanating off the man. It was an ironic situation, really, one that normally the Kagetsukai would chuckle at. However, he had a hunch that laughing at that moment would only get him in trouble, so he refrained. He glanced at the infirmary door, silently urging Watari to get done with Hisoka and take Tsuzuki off of his hands. It wasn't that he didn't _like_ spending time with his co-worker, but the self-pity was getting old. It was as if, since he had starting spending time with Watari, he could step back and view Tsuzuki more objectively. The guilt-ridden man had initially agreed to go out and get food, but had changed his mind. The two sat at Tsuzuki's desk silently.

"Tatsumi?"

The secretary looked over, eyebrow raised.

"Umm...how is, er...how's it going with Watari?"

The blue-eyed man smiled slightly, relieved that his friend was distracting himself.

"Quite well."

Tsuzuki nodded. He remained silent for a moment, then grinned slyly.

"So has he spent the night yet?"

Tatsumi turned incredulous eyes to the other man.

"Tsuzuki-san. If you value your paycheck..."

The younger man's eyes widened and he nodded his head quickly.

"Sorry! Sorry."

The Kagetsukai smiled in amusement and was about to speak when the infirmary door opened. Watari walked out quietly, casting the two men a weak smile.

"Tsuzuki...I think Hisoka might want to talk to you. He's not angry at you, don't worry. You should go see him now."

The violet-eyed man stood, walking apprehensively into the infirmary. Watari went directly to Tatsumi, leaning on his shoulder. The older man's arms went around his slender frame.

"Is he alright?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

Watari nodded against his shoulder, snuggling closer.

"Yeah...I talked to him about how he treats Tsuzuki... I think he needed the tough love. Hopefully, I got through to him, because if I didn't and I just sent Tsuzuki in there..."

Tatsumi shook his head.

"Kurosaki-kun is a very bright young man. I'm sure your message got through to him. I wouldn't worry about it. It's in his hands now."

The scientist sighed, closing his eyes.

"Seii...? Can I get off work early today? I'm really tired..."

Normally, Tatsumi would refuse and give a reprimand to the younger man. That day, however, he could see how genuinely exhausted his love was. 'It's bad for productivity,' he rationalized.

"Sure, Yutaka. I don't see why not."

The blonde smiled up at him gratefully, kissing his cheek with affection.

"Thanks, Seii. You, uh...wanna come with me?"

The Kagetsukai actually considered the offer for a moment, but his frugal nature won out.

"I can't. I need to stay here and monitor the situation. If I leave, no one will get any work done around here." 

Watari nodded, disappointed but understanding his boyfriend's logic. He hugged Tatsumi again and left, leaving the secretary to his second love in life - work.

*********

Tsuzuki entered the infirmary hesitantly, not wanting to disturb Hisoka. His heart pounded in his chest as he spotted the boy, his small frame propped up by pillows. Although he had seen his partner only fifteen minutes earlier, Tsuzuki was shocked by how pale the boy looked.

"Hisoka...?"

Green eyes looked up, an unreadable expression in them. He motioned for Tsuzuki to sit on the bed beside him. The older man stared at the spot for a moment, finally forcing his legs to move. He sat on the bed, his hands clasped together tightly.

"Tsuzuki...look at me."

He did as he was told, though meekly.

"I wanted to apologize for worrying you..."

Violet eyes widened incredulously. 

"What?! 'Soka, what are you talking about? _I'm_ the one who needs to apologize! I hurt you!"

Hisoka shook his head vehemently. 

"That's not true. I hurt myself. I hurt myself by making you feel like you had to hide from me."

Tsuzuki stared at his partner. Hisoka was unnerved by the lack of empathic connection.

"Let me finish, Tsuzuki. I...I don't hate you. I don't even dislike you. And...I really don't want you to think that. I just...I want you to know that I'm sorry."

The older man continued staring, unable to form any coherent words. His mind was torn between elation at his partner's words and worry over why the boy felt it necessary to say them at all. Tsuzuki didn't blame Hisoka in the least. He knew it was his own fault for not being clearer about his pain. It touched him, though, that the boy was willing to take the blame upon himself.

"Hisoka..." He shook his head to clear it. "You don't have to apologize to me. You never have to. I appreciate the sentiment, but I know."

"You know?" 

Tsuzuki nodded.

"Yeah. I just worry about you, 'Soka. I'm always causing trouble for you."

Hisoka sighed.

"Tsuzuki, I cause as much trouble as you do. I just want you to know...that uh...I'mhereifyouneedme."

Tsuzuki smiled as the words sorted themselves out and sunk in.

"Aww, 'Soka. I love you, too."

He leaned over, wrapping his arms around the boy. The body beneath him tensed, but Hisoka's arms eventually gripped Tsuzuki's in response. 'He's so warm...' the older Shinigami mused, reveling in their shared body heat.

Meanwhile, Hisoka's own thoughts followed a similar line. 'Baka...still caring so much about me...why do you care so much? Why do _I_ care? I wish I could feel what he's feeling right now...I want to know how he feels so badly. It shouldn't matter so much to me. I'm thinking like he acts! But...this feels nice. I...I almost don't want him to let go.'

Hisoka felt his cheeks get hot, but when his eyes burned and blurred over with moisture, he pushed the other man away sharply.

"Hisoka?"

He curled his knees to his chest, locking his arms around them.

"Go away!" he growled.

Tsuzuki watched him for a moment, a look of concern on his face.

"No."

Hisoka peeked up in angry surprise.

"What?"

"I said no, Hisoka. I'm not going anywhere."

With those words, Tsuzuki put his arms around the boy's center, ignoring his shouts of protest. After all, the elder Shinigami knew he didn't mean it.


	13. Weakness

Alright! Now that FF.net's back on track, I can post this sucker. It's a little shorter than usual, but I've had two full projects due this week and a part of another. -_-;; I've been busy and stressed. I don't really like this chapter much, but that's just me. I can promise you that not only will the next chapter be longer, but it'll have loads of Tatari in it! I'm beginning to feel I've neglected my favorite pairing as of late, so expect Tsusoka to be in the background come next chapter. If I haven't said it before, let me say it now: I love you guys. ^_^

Kara Angitia - Well, taking care of Hisoka (read: prying Tsuzuki away from him long enough to check his vitals) took a lot out of our poor scientist. Plus, I think he's sick of having to give everyone those long, deep speeches that I love to write so much. ^^;;

Konnie-chan - *looks shocked* I could **never** forget about my precious Tatari! Nope, they'll be back in the spotlight come next chapter, I promise. I just needed to add some Tsusoka in there to give me time to think up what to write next. ^_^; And yeah, Hisoka is silly. It's easy to forget he's just a kid, sometimes (especially next to Tsuzuki).

Kyraille Fade - ^_^ Glad you liked them, babe!

LinaLau - *grins* I think if Hisoka-kun heard you call him kawaii, he'd kill you. *whispers* But I agree, he is! ^_~

Dreamer Kun - Sankyuu! I hope you like this chapter, too.

Kata - ^___^ In all honesty, I'm not much of a Tsusoka fan either (and for the same reasons). Every now and then, though, I'll find a fic about just them that sounds good and I'll read it. LOL. I think this is the most thorough review I've gotten yet. *hugs* Thanks!

Gohma - Ooooh, stalking...sounds like fun! I'm honored, Gohma. *bows* Love you, too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Watari entered his apartment, closing the door behind him weakly. He set 003 down on the coffee table, shrugging off his lab coat and tossing it aside. There was a thin layer of dust on the ruddy carpet, but the scientist didn't notice. In truth, he hadn't been to his apartment in five days, opting instead to sleep in the lab. He firmly believed it to be more convenient that way, and the added perk of getting to spend extra time with Tatsumi didn't hurt. On that particular day, however, Watari was tired. 

"I can't believe I invited him here. _Here_, of all places," he groaned. He stumbled into the small kitchen, opening the refrigerator cautiously. There wasn't much to be found, save for a moldy block of cheese, some expired Pepsi, and a half-empty carton of eggs. He had learned long before not to even bother buying milk, instead using the stash kept at the office for the coffee. Sighing, he closed the refrigerator door, instead opening a cabinet and rummaging through it. There were rows of canned foods and several unopened containers of instant coffee. Watari hated the way it tasted, but hey, it's instant. He pulled out a can of Ravioli, dumping the contents into a ceramic bowl and shoved it in the small microwave by the sink. Punching the buttons, he went back to the living room and sat on the loveseat, leaning back with his eyes closed. His rest was interrupted, however, when the phone rang. His eyes popped open as he jumped up, fumbling for the cordless phone. He found it buried under a dirty shirt.

"Tsuzuki, Bon, Seii?"

There was a brief pause.

"...You assume it must be one of us when your phone rings, 'Taka?"

Seii.

"Considering that you call on behalf of Konoe-san, Tsuzuki calls to beg for favors, or Bon calls asking where Tsuzuki is...then yeah, it has to be one of you."

Watari's brows furrowed with sudden worry.

"What happened? Is Bon okay? Did Tsuzuki-"

"He's fine. I just wanted to see if...if you made it home safely."

The scientist grinned mischievously.

"You realize that I intended to sleep as soon as I got in the door."

He could _feel_ the other man's embarrassment.

"I...I forgot about that. I apologize if I woke you..."

Watari chuckled.

"Lucky you, I was fixing food. Wait..."

He walked to the kitchen, peering at the now silent microwave.

"Something wrong?"

He rummaged in a drawer for a fork.

"Hm? Naw, food's done. I didn't hear it."

"I see. Well...I suppose I'll let you go now."

The blonde clucked in disappointment.

"Aww, do you have to? Are you _sure_ you can't come over? I'll even clean, I swear! _Pweeze_?"

There was another pause on the line, longer this time.

"...'Taka..." A long-suffering sigh followed. "I don't think I can. I'd like to, really, but I'm needed here. Perhaps...tomorrow?"

Watari almost swooned at the tentative tone Tatsumi's voice had taken.

"Of course, Seii. I'm gonna hold you to it, though. I'll see you at work, okay?"

"Very well. Get some sleep, 'Taka. I lo-" The secretary stopped, quickly changing his words. "I'll see you then."

With that, the phone line went dead, leaving Watari standing in his kitchen staring at the phone numbly.

*********

Tatsumi hung up the telephone, cradling his head in his hands. 'What was that?! I can't believe I almost said... Very smart, scare him away. That was awkward... I hope he doesn't bring it up tomorrow.' He tapped his pencil on the wooden desk. It was just a natural slip of the tongue, right? That didn't necessarily mean anything, did it? He closed his blue eyes, feeling a headache forming. 'I don't know what it means...'

*********

Tsuzuki pulled back from hugging Hisoka. The boy wouldn't meet his eyes, and the older Shinigami could see a faint blush dusting his pale cheeks. 

"Don't attack me again," the youth grumbled.

Tsuzuki's violet eyes widened.

"Attack? 'Soka, I hugged you!"

Angry green eyes locked on his own.

"More like molested me..."

Tsuzuki made a hurt sound.

"Aww, you know I wouldn't do that."

He watched as the boy looked away, apparently staring out the window on the other side of the room. Tsuzuki's brows furrowed in concern.

"Hisoka?"

Slowly, the boy in question turned to look at him, but the look in his eyes wasn't anger. It was weariness, unease, and a bit of...fear? Hesitancy? Tsuzuki wasn't sure.

"Tsuzuki...I can't feel anything you feel right now. I don't know if you're being sincere, if you're still hurt, if you've forgiven me, anything! I...I don't like this. You'd think I'd be happy to be rid of my empathy for a few hours, and I was at first, but-"

The older man pressed a light finger to his lips.

"Shh. I understand, Hisoka. I've never lied to you, so believe me when I say that right now, I'm very happy."

The boy's owlish eyes blinked slowly.

"Really?"

Tsuzuki nodded, his eyes conveying warmth and love with such an intensity that Hisoka could barely stand to look at him.

"...Me too."

He glanced at his partner as he stood to leave.

"Tsuzuki?"

The older man turned expectantly.

"Could you...could you stay with me? Until my empathy returns...?"

Tsuzuki sat back down, running a hand through his partner's soft hair.

"I was hoping you'd ask, 'Soka. I didn't want to stay and make you uncomfortable."

Hisoka bit his lip.

"I wasn't uncomfortable...I never am with you around. Even if you are a first-class idiot."

The violet-eyed man grinned cheekily.

"But I'm _your_ first-class idiot!"

The boy blushed deeply, causing Tsuzuki to chuckle. 'He's too cute, like a teddy bear!'

"You know, if nearly killing myself gets you to open up so much, maybe I should do stuff like that more often," he joked.

There was the sound of a chair scraping across the tile as Tsuzuki found himself being shoved violently off the bed, colliding with the chair next to it. He stared at his partner, not sure what he had done wrong.

"Don't _ever_ say that," Hisoka hissed venomously. His green eyes were darkened in fury and deep hurt, unshed tears trembling on his dark eyelashes.

"Hisoka? I'm sor-"

"**Don't**! How can you say something like that?! Do you have any idea how much you hurt me by calling Touda? How much you hurt us _all_?!"

Tsuzuki's eyes filled with guilt and sorrow.

"I...I was only joking, 'Soka. I'm sorry. I...I'm sorry," he whispered softly.

The youth glared at him, limbs shaking in anger. Hisoka's vision swam and he was vaguely aware that he felt he was about to pass out.

"Get out," he growled. Tsuzuki's pleading eyes met his own unrelenting ones.

"I said get out. Go. I don't want you near me right now."

Sensing that his partner's mind could not be changed, Tsuzuki nodded softly, slowly turning toward the door. As he reached it, hand clasped on the door handle, he spoke.

"I really am sorry, Hisoka. I...I just can't get it right, can I?" 

A tear splattered against his hand as he opened the door and exited, closing it gently.

Hisoka stared at the doorframe for a minute before the stress became too much for his weak system, and he passed out. 


	14. Anticipation

Whoo, I was writing this and had to stop myself from making the chapter any longer. 9_9; Anyway, it's a good stopping point, don't you think? I love this chapter. Especially the phone conversation. Sue me, I like weird Watari humor. *grins* So here ya go, folks! I know I promised lots of Tatari in this chapter, but I didn't expect to have to cut it this short. Have no fear, every thing I intended to put in this chapter will be in the next one, I guarantee it! ^__^ And I'm glad so many people like 'Letting Go.' Let me again state that it has **nothing** to do with this fic whatsoever. Really. I don't usually write (or read, for that matter) stories under 1,000 words, but it just came to me.

LinaLau - Don't worry, I won't let them kill you. You're too nice and talented to die. ^_~

Kara Angitia - *smirks as she anticipates the hand puppets* Oooh, Tatsumi's gonna get it! Go Kara! *throws on a cheerleader outfit and dances in circles*

Tysoyo Kalli - Thank you! I'm very glad you follow the story. ^_^ It makes me feel all fuzzy knowing of more people that like it.

Konnie-chan - LOL. Nope, no depressive mood here. Just...I dunno, I like angst. Maybe I'm a bit too preoccupied with it. And I have no idea why I'm torturing Tsuzuki and Hisoka so much... *sweatdrop* Hopefully this chapter will make that slightly better. Rest assured, 'Letting Go' isn't a continuation of your fic, it was just somehow inspired by it. Of course, I still encourage a sequel *nudgenudge* I dunno, I've been thinking lately of lots of storylines and, of course, angsty stuff. Maybe since I wrote that I'll ease up on the innocent character torturing, ne. ^_^;; Good luck studying, hon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tatsumi was in the middle of filing that week's budget papers when someone knocked at his office door.

"Come in," he said absently, not looking up until the door creaked open. Tsuzuki came in, sitting in the chair across the desk quietly. It wasn't like him to just enter a room without some sort of ruckus...especially the secretary's office.

"I messed up again," he whispered, violet eyes downcast.

Tatsumi set the papers aside, focusing his attention on his co-worker.

"What did you do? I would normally assume you 'accidentally' shredded your budget expenditures again, but I doubt you'd be this upset if that were the case."

"I made him mad," the younger Shinigami said.

The Kagetsukai sighed, adjusting his glasses in irritation.

"What did you do to Kurosaki-kun?"

Tsuzuki blinked mournfully, his expressive eyes taking the edge off of the look he was receiving from his friend.

"I uh...I made a joke."

Tatsumi's eyebrow rose. Getting Tsuzuki to confess to something was akin to pulling teeth with rusty pliers, he had learned.

"About?" 

He watched the younger man fidget and felt some of his irritation melt away at the sight.

"ThethingwithTouda," Tsuzuki mumbled. 

Tatsumi's eyes widened slightly. 'He really is an idiot, then. What a foolish thing to say.'

"Tsuzuki...let me get this straight: You made a joke about your trying to kill yourself to the person who risked his life to save you?"

The younger Shinigami nodded, not able to look Tatsumi in the eyes.

"He's really mad... It's always my fault, isn't it?"

The Kagetsukai closed his eyes and sighed deeply, a headache forming behind his eyes already.

"No, Tsuzuki-san. You simply have to learn some tact."

He opened his eyes, only to meet violet pools of worry.

"What do I do, Tatsumi? How do I make it better this time? He kicked me out... I think he was gonna cry..."

The secretary watched his friend for a moment, taking in the sweet, yet heart-wrenching look in his beautiful eyes, the depth of his concern and love for his teenage partner. Watching him, Tatsumi knew that if he were ever in grave danger, Tsuzuki would rush to help him, no matter the cost. But, his heart reminded him, Tsuzuki's eyes didn't linger on him like they lingered on Hisoka. He couldn't coax nearly as many genuine smiles from the violet-eyed man. Looking at Tsuzuki, Tatsumi could see how he had once fallen deeply in love with him, but he also saw the reasons why he needed to let go of that love.

"Tsuzuki-san," he said, attempting to sound aggravated, "Kurosaki-kun will undoubtedly forgive you. Perhaps if you did something he would appreciate...such as your paperwork, he would forgive you all the sooner."

Tsuzuki was silent for a minute, the wheels in his head obviously turning. He blinked once, and the light was back in his eyes as if it had never left.

"I know! I'll write him a poem! Do you think he'd like that, Tatsumi? I'll say how sorry I am and-"

"Fine," the secretary said rather curtly. "Do so. In the meantime, get back to work."

The younger man's smile wilted slightly, but he forced it back in place, nodding happily before bounding out of the room

***********

Ring ring ring.

"Hello?"

"Hiiiii, honey! How's Bon?"

Tatsumi sweatdropped, staring at the phone blankly for several seconds.

"...He's resting. Watari, what-"

"So everything's okay with Tsuzuki?"

Sigh.

"No, he managed to upset Kurosaki-kun yet again."

"Did you check on Hisoka afterward?"

Tatsumi paused, confused.

"Why would I do that?"

He could almost hear Watari shrug.

"I bet he passed out again."

The secretary would have been concerned, but the scientist's nonchalant tone reassured him. He sighed, setting his pen down atop the neglected budget papers.

"Watari...I thought you went home to rest?"

There was nervous laughter on the other end of the phone.

"Ahh, well...I thought up this great experiment and _why_ are you calling me Watari?"

Tatsumi closed his eyes against the headache Tsuzuki had brought on.

"I'm a bit stressed right now, 'Taka."

The blonde emitted a satisfied hum.

"_We~ell_, I can think of a few things to do that would relieve stress..."

The Kagetsukai rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's immaturity.

"I am not coming over tonight, 'Taka."

"Oh don't be a pervert. I was talking about you taking a hot bubble bath!"

The normally stoic man blushed, grateful that his partner couldn't see it.

"I...I knew that."

"Uh huh. But you're coming over tomorrow, right?"

Tatsumi hoped he wasn't walking into another one of the scientist's verbal traps.

"Yes, we already agreed upon that."

"Good. Well, I've got to go now. There's a really itchy feather stuck in my pants."

The secretary blinked, shaking his head slowly.

"Taka...I won't even endeavor to ask why. Once again, good-night."

"Nighty night, honey!"

Watari made a smacking noise with his lips right before the line went dead. For some reason, the eccentric conversation they had just shared relaxed Tatsumi.

"I think I need new friends," he mumbled half-heartedly.

************

Things were unusually tense at the office the next day.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Tsuzuki asked, following behind Hisoka worriedly.

The boy paused to glare at him.

"I said I'm fine, baka!"

Tsuzuki pouted, his concern for his partner not abated by any reassurances.

"Ne, 'Soka?"

The blonde rolled his eyes.

"What now?"

"I wrote you a poem."

"...What?!"

The older man cleared his throat, standing very tall. He produced a rumpled piece of paper from his pants pocket. Hisoka blanched, noticing that all eyes were on them.

"Ahem...

Your eyes are like watermelons,

Your skin is like cream.

Your frown is like grapefruit,

Your anger is...like steam..."

Terazuma could be heard snickering derisively in the background. Tsuzuki paused self-consciously before continuing.

"...You act like you don't like me,

But I know that you care.

That's why, Hisoka, for you,

I'll always be there."

Hisoka stared at his partner in shock and awe. Although it was extremely embarrassing to have the entire office hear that, he was touched by Tsuzuki's well-meaning attempt at poetry.

"Tsuzuki..."

The older man's eyes met his, hope cautiously shining in them.

"That was..."

"Horrible?" Terazuma suggested before being smacked by an irate Wakaba.

Hisoka shook his head numbly.

"That was...beautiful..."

Tsuzuki's eyes widened, his heart speeding up. He was so sure he had made a fool of himself, but Hisoka actually liked it? He wasn't angry for embarrassing him?

"You...you really think so, 'Soka?"

The boy nodded, smiling slightly. Tsuzuki looked at him with imploring eyes.

"Do you forgive me, then?" he asked timidly. 

Hisoka sighed, uncomfortable with all the witnesses hanging around.

"Yes," he murmured.

Tsuzuki's shoulders slumped with relief. He had an overwhelming urge to kiss his young partner then, but wasn't willing to risk screwing up again. Instead, he simply stepped closer to the boy, until they were practically touching.

"Thank you," he whispered in the boy's ear softly.

Hisoka's eyes closed, his cheeks stained with pink.

***********

All of the Shokan division had seen the exchange between Tsuzuki and Hisoka, expect for one. Tatsumi sighed softly, once again trying to finish sorting through the budget papers. Never mind that the rest of the division was goofing off - someone had to do work. Even his excitable boyfriend was out there...doing something. Tatsumi was admittedly curious as to what had everyone's attention, but he refused to allow that curiosity to tarnish his unshakable reputation. It would take more than a little distraction to make him stop working. Unfortunately, that larger distraction he required came bounding into his office in a whirlwind of blonde, wavy hair and white fabric.

"Seii! Oh my god, you won't believe what Tsuzuki just did. He's either brilliant or a lot stupider than I thought! He wrote a poem for Hisoka. A _poem_!"

Watari sighed dramatically, twirling toward Tatsumi so that his head could rest on the man's shoulder. He looked up at him innocently.

"Isn't that the sweetest thing you've heard of? Of course, he had to incorporate food into it, of all things... But still, I think he knocked Bon off his feet this time, and not literally!"

The secretary smiled at his partner's enthusiasm. He hadn't forgotten his promise to go to the man's house that night.

"What time do you want me to come over, 'Taka?"

Watari blinked, coming out of his reverie.

"Huh? Oh. Let's see...I get off work at 8...you usually stay until 1, don't you? But not today, so that doesn't matter. What about...10:00? That gives me time to get the place tidied and wash my hair."

Tatsumi nodded in agreement.

"That sounds fine to me. I suppose I will have to go home after normal business hours for once, hm? Such sacrifices I make for you," he joked.

The scientist reached up, grabbing the older man's chin and tilting it toward him. He lowered his lips to those of his partner, savoring the warmth that he was met with. Tatsumi closed his eyes, his hands absently reaching up to stroke the man's soft hair. Watari made a soft mewling noise, pressing their lips together with decided ferocity. The Kagetsukai could feel his face flush as his blood recirculated itself.

"Taka..." he breathed, gently moving the man away from him slightly. The scientist pouted, his lips swollen and red. Tatsumi felt his breath catch in his throat at the erotic sight.

"Heeeeey..." the younger man whined softly, "no fair. I wanna kiss you..."

The secretary cleared his throat, mostly to distract himself.

"Not...not in the office, 'Taka. Anyone could walk in right now..."

The blonde smirked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Do you really think I care?"

Tatsumi laughed.

"Believe me, I understand your...eagerness, but save it for a more appropriate time."

Watari grinned, running his hand down his boyfriend's tie playfully.

"Oh? Like...tonight, perhaps?"

Tatsumi's face reddened slightly, but he gave a barely perceptible nod.

"Exactly," he whispered.


	15. The Painful Truth

Okay, **please** don't kill me! I've been struggling with where to take this chapter since the last update. At first I thought it was too soon for this, but then I realized that I can only drag it out for so long... It was going to happen eventually, so don't hurt me! You love me, remember? No hurting the author... Just to ease any anxiety you might be having, this is _not_ the end of the fic. Nope, there's a few more chapters to go, I do believe. Heh...all that Tsusoka angst, and now this. I'm sorry, Konnie-chan! *begs forgiveness*

Lothlorien1 - *grins* It was hard for me to write. I'm actually a poet in RL, so it was hard for me to purposely write a bad poem. Very painful experience. ^_^; Bad poetry is like bad grammar - it makes my teeth hurt.

Kara Angitia - LOL. Whoops, guess I got over-enthusiastic with the cheerleader thing. *Is reminded of the 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' music video*

Konnie-chan - I'm so glad you liked it but **pleasepleaseplease** don't kill me for this one! *grovels at your feet* 

LinaLau - *huggles* Ah, you're always so supportive. Sankyuu, and you don't kill me, either! : p

Gohma - I only know a little about Terazuma since I've only seen the anime and managed to download the first manga volume. Otherwise he'd play a bigger part, I assure you! ^_^

JoniQuest - Ah, thank you! It's great to know you like the story so much. I hope you stick with it until the end!

Philoalexandros - *grins* Only I can jinx this thing. I just hope I don't manage to do that! I'm glad you decided to review, though!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the clock struck 8:00, Watari grabbed his lab coat, making a mad dash for the door. He nearly collided with Tsuzuki in his eagerness, startled when he felt a hand clasp his shoulder.

"Hey, you going home?"

The blonde nodded, his eyes darting from his friend back to the door repeatedly.

Tsuzuki saw this and grinned.

"What's the hurry?"

"I have plans with Tatsumi tonight...I need to clean my apartment."

The older Shinigami's eyes widened.

"Really? That's awesome." He paused, frowning. "Are you...gonna tell him?"

Watari stared at his friend in horror.

"Well...the thought hadn't occurred to me..."

Tsuzuki's eyes softened.

"Then don't worry about it. If you didn't think of it, then it's obviously not time yet. Just have fun, okay?"

The scientist nodded, but his eyes held an edge of anxiety.

"Yeah...I guess so..."

**********

Tatsumi knocked on the door, adjusting his tie. 'I don't know why I'm so nervous,' he thought. Nonetheless, as soon as he had gotten off work, the secretary had showered, brushed his teeth, and ironed his 'good' suit. On his way out the door, Tatsumi had even considered grabbing a few flowers (from the yard, of course), but decided against it. 

The door opened. Watari leaned in the doorway, smiling coyly.

"Welcome to my humble abode."

He ushered Tatsumi inside, shutting the door quietly. The secretary took his time looking around, surprised how immaculately the apartment had been cleaned. The carpet was soft under his shoes, the walls light, decorated with only a few paintings. Atop the hutch, Tatsumi spotted a row of picture frames. He smiled warmly at the pictures - one of the entire office gathered together, one of Tsuzuki and Hisoka that was obviously candid, and one of himself, glaring at the camera irritably. Dimly, the secretary thought he could recall when that picture had been taken...

"Like them?" Watari's silken voice whispered in his ear. His heart sped up at the closeness of the other man's body behind him.

"They're nice, 'Taka."

The blonde leaned against the hutch, into his line of sight.

"I take care of them. These pictures mean a lot to me."

Tatsumi looked over to the other man, noticing for the first time how glossy Watari's blonde, wavy hair looked. He had obviously taken care to primp himself. He was wearing a thin, rich green sweater with dark jeans and no shoes. 

"You look beautiful, 'Taka," he commented.

The scientist smiled wickedly, his eyes traveling over the other man's body in response.

"Mmm...I was thinking we could have baked lemon shrimp for dinner. What do you think?"

Tatsumi nodded his agreement, watching his partner's eyes the whole time. 

"Great. Well, I've got all the ingredients out, so I'm going to go cook it now. I would have done that before you got here, but I wanted to make sure it was okay with you first. You just sit here and relax for a bit, okay? I've got a radio with a CD player over in the corner if you want to listen to music."

He padded off to the kitchen, leaving Tatsumi alone in the living room. He sat on the loveseat, listening to his boyfriend rummaging around in the other room. 003 hopped up on the sofa next to him, tilting her head as she regarded him with wide, curious eyes. The small coffee table in front of the loveseat caught his attention. In particular, what appeared to be a large red photo album. Pausing only for a moment to consider his actions, he picked it up and opened it. A piece of unlined paper greeted him, taped to the inside of the cover.

My Afterlife, by Watari Yutaka

He smiled, turning his attention to the first page of photographs. The album was set up so that every two or so pages were devoted to a single person. The first few pages were of Watari himself. 'I wonder if it would be too obvious to ask for a copy of this one,' Tatsumi thought to himself as he located one especially attractive picture. He turned the pages, coming to photos of himself. Many of them were taken by either Watari or Tsuzuki, and showed a rather unflattering view of the Shokan's secretary. There were only two pictures in which he was genuinely smiling, and one of those showed Tsuzuki to be the cause. Tatsumi winced, the reminder of his affections a painful one. The next pages were of Tsuzuki, then Hisoka. After those came group pictures, many including Wakaba and Tsuzuki or Wakaba and a very grumpy Terazuma. Tsuzuki and Hisoka were also widely featured, and there were a few of himself with various people. 

Tatsumi was genuinely surprised by how lovingly his partner had preserved those memories. 'There's much more to Yutaka than I realize,' he reminded himself firmly. The thought saddened him a little, for it was evidence of how little attention he had shown to the other man as a person. He was so caught up in his musings that he failed to notice the amber eyes that watched him.

"I take it you're not bored, then?" Watari spoke up, startling the other man.

The secretary closed the photo album, setting carefully back in its place.

"Not at all. I never realized how...nostalgic you are."

The blonde grinned, taking a seat next to Tatsumi.

"Yeah, well...I like to keep track of the things I find important, and my friends are very important to me..."

He glanced over to the Kagetsukai, suddenly unsure of himself. 

"What are you thinking about?" he asked anxiously.

Tatsumi looked at him thoughtfully.

"You."

Watari's eyes widened and he had to look away.

"What...what about me?"

"How stunningly fey you look tonight, how much of an idiot I am for not having noticed sooner, how nothing else could make me as content as I am now..."

The blonde listened in rapture, his stoic partner's romantic side taking him off guard.

"Seii..." Watari felt torn between enjoying the illusion and telling the truth. He felt horrible for being so happy when it was all based on deception.

"I have something to say, and I know you're going to hate me for it. So first, just...just let me kiss you, okay?"

He leaned over, pressing his lips to the older man's desperately. He wanted so badly to lose himself in that kiss, to pretend that there weren't any secrets being kept. Tatsumi's arms wrapped around his shoulders so that Watari was being held by the other man. That singular comfort was too painfully sweet, and the blonde forced himself to pull away.

"Isn't the food done...?" Tatsumi inquired, sensing that something very upsetting was about to happen. He hoped he could distract his partner, even if it were in vain.

"To hell with the food," Watari said. He locked his eyes with the Kagetsukai's.

"Listen to me. Before I tell you what I did, I need you to understand the fact that I did it with your best interests at heart. I would _never_ purposely do something to hurt you. And I need you to believe me when I say...when I say that I love you, because I do. I love you more than I thought I _could _love, Seii. I wish I could just keep this in the past and forget about it, but I love you too much to lie to you. Do you believe me?"

"Yes, but wh-"

Watari silenced him, trying not to look at the deeply concerned and very fearful expression in those deep blue eyes. His hands shook slightly as he spoke.

"I...I noticed how lonely you've been, how closed-off from others. Even your closest friends are kept at a distance. So I thought that I should do something about that, get you to loosen up some. I mean, a more relaxed, open Tatsumi means less hassle for the rest of us, right? So I...I decided to try an experiment. I was going to find someone to flirt with you, get you to open up to them...then you'd be able to find someone you could care about for real. But I...I couldn't find anyone who would be qualified to do that. I was the only one who wasn't already attached to someone else and would be willing."

He risked a glance at Tatsumi, his heart clenching at the forcibly blank look on the man's face. Watari wanted so desperately to know what he was thinking, but as always, he repressed his feelings. The blonde felt his eyes begin to sting and blur.

"I, uh...I started flirting with you and got you to go to lunch with me for the sake of the...the experiment. I...I realized early on how much fun I was having, spending time with you one-on-one. I should have realized it then...but I was in denial and too caught up in the experiment to notice. You...you opened up to me more, I did the same in return, and everything was going like I planned it. But dammit, I'm an emotionally inept person, Seii. I could _see_ that you were beginning to care about me, but I didn't realize that I cared about you in return. I didn't want to face the reality that I was falling in love with you. But...I aborted the experiment on the seventh day, right before you asked me to be your...your boyfriend. I didn't _care_ about the damn experiment at that point; I knew I was hurting you, and I couldn't stand it! I guess...that's when I accepted my own feelings. And here we are now... Everything's happened so quickly, you've opened up to me so much sooner than I had expected you would..."

Watari paused, trying to control his breathing. Tears edged down his cheeks.

"Everything I said to you," he continued, looking into Tatsumi's blank eyes, "I meant it. I meant _every_ word, Seii. About...about my fears, my insecurities...my feelings for you. None of that was part of the experiment. That was genuine, always has been."

Tatsumi stared at his partner numbly, his mind working to connect everything. He saw the tears, the shaking hands, heard the pleading tone...

"You...you used me, then?" he whispered, watching apathetically as the other man's face crumpled in pain.

"Seii...I _never_ meant to hurt you. I didn't expect things to turn out this way. I-"

"You used me. You used me as another of your experiments. Was I the constant variable? All this time, I've been giving you a piece of my soul...just _handing_ it over, and all to further your experiment?"

The blonde shook his head adamantly.

"No! Seii, I really do love you..."

The Kagetsukai stood abruptly, smoothing out his suit. He stared down at the younger man with anger fueled by the agonizing pain he felt in his heart.

"How can I believe you, Watari? How do I know this isn't just another part of your experiment?"

He walked calmly to the door, refusing to stop despite the blonde's heart-wrenching pleas.

"I will see you at work, Watari-san. I suggest you endeavor to show up on time."

The door closed quietly behind him and Watari let his body drape across the loveseat, sobbing bitter tears. Outside the door, Tatsumi stood for a moment, wiping his own eyes discreetly before leaving for home.


	16. Questioning

Okay, so I've been taking only 2 days to update lately. I guess I've just been eager with writing this. ^^ This is a **lot** of fun! Phew...I'm so glad I'm still alive. Thank you for not killing me for the last chapter! *hands out Tsuzuki-shaped pocky* Okay, here's the next one. I had decided to wait until tomorrow or the next day to post this (the suspense factor, you know) but I couldn't wait. I have no patience, what can I say? ^__^

Fish1 - LOL. You'd better go check on that, then. ^__^ I'd hate for you to walk around wet all day...er, wait - that didn't sound right... .;;

Kara Angitia - Awww, don't be too hard on poor Tatsumi. He's had a rough time too, even if he is an uptight bastard sometimes. ^_^

JoniQuest - Phew, I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad everyone liked it! *was really expecting to be murdered*

Konnie-chan - *meeps and dives for cover* Yes, Master!

Kata - *hugs Kata tightly* Sankyuu!! I'm pleased that you caught the formality part at the end. I tried really hard to keep it all realistic. There's nothing worse than reading bad angst!

Ikki - *grins* Your wish is my command, dear. Enjoy the chapter!

Sarfox the Tod - Thank you very much! ^_^ I'm glad you like my style.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tatsumi didn't know if Watari showed up on time to work because he himself was late. He spent the morning lying in bed after a night of no sleep, the events of the past few weeks running through his head. When he had left Watari's apartment, all he could do was walk home dejectedly, a heavy burden on his heart. He had been used, like a lab rat. Except lab rats _knew_ they were experiments, _knew_ their lives would be over soon. Tatsumi didn't have the luxury of such knowledge. Watari had used him...his friend had used him. He was not the type of man who gave his heart lightly to anyone. But he had given his heart to the genki blonde scientist...thought him trustworthy, honest, _real_. So for him to find out it was all a lie, all an act...the thought tore him up inside. He had viewed Watari as one of the few people in his life that he could really trust and rely on. Now, he didn't know what was real and what was illusion anymore - and that terrified him. When he arrived at his apartment, all he could do for two hours was sit and stare at the wall, berating himself for ever having had the gullibility to trust someone so much.

And so, Tatsumi Seiichiro got no sleep that night, having to force himself out of bed in the morning. He was entirely unconcerned that the clock showed he had five minutes to get to work. No, he showered, changed, and sat on the sofa for an hour. He was beginning to fear what would happen when he arrived at the office. He knew that when he had left, Watari had been very distraught, although not angry. The Kagetsukai feared that his partner would bring their conflict into the office. In times of emotional distress, Watari Yutaka had a tendency to speak before he thought. 

"What now?" Tatsumi asked himself. He tried to think about whether he still considered the other man his boyfriend, but didn't have the heart to tackle that question yet. It was just too painful. All of his common sense and logic screamed at him to cut ties with the scientist, to push him far away so that the emotional barriers could be rebuilt. But there was a small, soft-spoken part that whispered _it's not too late_. Tatsumi stood, deciding that he couldn't think about any of it until he'd had some damn coffee.

***********

The office was strangely cheerful when Tatsumi finally arrived. Then again, perhaps it just seemed that way due to his own miserable mood. He dragged himself to his office, throwing his briefcase to the floor with a loud crack, then went in search of coffee. He ended up at the break room, where Tsuzuki sat alone, nursing a piece of cheesecake silently. The secretary entered the room quietly, realizing that Watari had probably already spoken to Tsuzuki. He stopped in front of the coffee machine, his back to the other man. He grabbed a cup, pouring the coffee into it carefully.

"Tatsumi."

He sighed, not wanting to turn around and face what would probably be an angry Shinigami. He _was_ the scientist's best friend, after all. Still, he turned around.

"What's wrong?" Tsuzuki's face was a mask of concern.

"...You don't know yet?"

The younger man shook his head, a look of genuine puzzlement adorning his features.

Tatsumi sighed, taking a seat next to his former partner.

"I assume you knew about this... All this time, and you didn't stop it?"

He turned bitter eyes on his surprised friend.

"Tatsumi...what..." Tsuzuki stopped, realization dawning in his eyes. "Oh...Watari told you, didn't he?"

The Kagetsukai nodded, his face reflecting the weariness in his soul. The violet-eyed man looked away guiltily.

"Yeah, he told me. That was the day I got so mad at him, remember? I wish there had been something I could have done, but it was too late by then. Besides, how could I have told you? I looked into his eyes, Tatsumi, and I didn't see deceit there. I saw genuine affection for you and guilt over having started the experiment at all. I knew that if I told you, I'd be ruining any chances the two of you would ever have to be together."

Tsuzuki looked over at the other man.

"What happened, exactly?"

Tatsumi sighed, pushing his glasses higher on his nose.

"He confessed to me that I was an experiment of his."

"Obviously, but _how_ did he say it? What else did he say?"

The secretary grimaced, convinced that Tsuzuki would sympathize with Watari, not him.

"He said that...that he loves me, and that all the things he's told me have been truthful. He said he regrets ever having begun such a foolish experiment. He said...that he's sorry..." It was painful to recount their conversation, unwelcome emotions rushing to the surface.

"Do you believe him?" 

Tatsumi shook his head.

"I don't know. I don't know what to believe."

Tsuzuki smiled sadly.

"I do," he whispered.

The Kagetsukai looked at him oddly.

"You what?"

"I believe him. He looks at you...the same way I look at Hisoka," the younger man confessed, a faint blush of embarrassment staining his cheeks.

Tatsumi stared at his friend for a long moment, weighing everything he knew in his head. Tsuzuki Asato was no liar, far from it...but he was the kind of man who could probably comfort a serial murderer if necessary. The Kagetsukai had a brief image of Tsuzuki sitting in a psychiatrist's chair, listening sympathetically to patients. It was almost enough to make him smile. Almost.

"...I'm going to get to work now," he stated, rising from the chair. The violet-eyed man rose as well, stopping him with a hand on his shoulder.

"If you don't believe me, ask Hisoka. He's the empath here. Just...don't mention the part I said about him, okay?"

Tatsumi hesitated, then nodded. Tsuzuki's hand dropped, and the secretary left the room.

************

Hisoka groaned softly, placing his head atop his arms. For the whole morning, he had sensed nothing but negative, painful emotions. At one point, Terazuma had baited Tsuzuki but, seeing his young partner's distress, the Shinigami had not risen to it. There were so many emotions...anger, sadness, desperation, love...they were everywhere, but in an abundance that day. Hisoka was so distracted that it was near impossible to get any work done.

"Soka! I need a favor," Tsuzuki said as he ran up to the desk. 

The boy growled softly, slowly lifting his head.

"Tsuzuki...dunfeelgood...kill you..."

The older man smiled, leaning his head down.

"If you do me this favor, it might make your headache go away..."

Hisoka blinked, looking at his partner skeptically.

************

"I _said_ I'm sorry, 'Soka!"

Tatsumi paused in his work, hearing Tsuzuki's voice down the hall.

"Just shut up, baka! I can't believe you did that to me!"

"But Hisoka, I'm _sorry_... I love you! Please forgive me?"

"No! Get away from me, I don't want to see your face!"

A door creaked open and was slammed. Tatsumi stared at his own office door. It opened a minute later, a dejected Tsuzuki dragging himself inside.

"Tatsumi..."

The Kagetsukai rolled his eyes irritably, not at all in the mood to listen to anyone's problems.

"What, Tsuzuki-san?"

The violet-eyed man took a seat, fidgeting.

"I made 'Soka mad again..."

Tatsumi glared.

"Obviously."

Tsuzuki looked up, his eyes wide and vulnerable.

"But...but...I was only trying to help! I didn't mean to make him mad, honest! I just wanted to help... He won't listen to me, Tatsumi! I said I'm sorry, but he won't forgive me. What do I do?"

Tatsumi gritted his teeth, counting to ten mentally.

"If it was something truly that bad, you need to prove to him that you meant no harm. Surely Kurosaki-kun of all people will understand your idiocy."

Tsuzuki's lip quivered.

"But...what if he doesn't forgive me?"

The secretary closed his eyes with exhaustion.

"Kurosaki-kun cares for you, Tsuzuki-san. He will forgive you. Maybe not today, but by the end of the week, he'll have forgiven you."

"But why?" Tsuzuki whispered self-deprecatingly. "Why should he forgive me? I hurt him... I don't deserve to have someone so good in my life."

Tatsumi's eyes opened, softening at his ex-partner's words.

"Tsuzuki...Kurosaki-kun likely thinks along the same lines. He probably wonders how he deserves someone as understanding and caring as you. He will forgive you because if he didn't, he'd be miserable. He just needs a little time to calm down."

"Like...how much time?"

Tatsumi frowned.

"I don't know."

Tsuzuki was persistent, however.

"A day? Two? More...?"

The Kagetsukai sighed yet again, beginning to get annoyed.

"I don't know, Tsuzuki-san. Give him a day or so, and get out of my office."

Tsuzuki stood, his forlorn look nearly gone.

"A day or so, huh? Okay, Tatsumi...a day or so it is. But you should take your own advice for once..."

The secretary stared at his friend as if he had lost him mind. Tsuzuki merely winked and skipped out of the room, leaving the older man thoroughly confused.

***********

Outside Tatsumi's office, Hisoka was leaned against the wall, waiting.

Tsuzuki walked out, flashing a thumbs-up.

"I take it your plan worked?" the green-eyed boy asked.

"It sure did! Now, on to the second half of it..."

Hisoka rolled his eyes, pushing away from the wall and crossing his arms.

"Then I can go back to working now, right?"

He began to walk away, but Tsuzuki's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Thanks, 'Soka," he whispered, pulling the boy into a hug.

Hisoka froze for a moment before gently pushing the other man away.

"Yeah..." He turned, walking back to his desk. 

Tsuzuki smiled, watching his partner's retreat. When he couldn't see him anymore, he turned in the opposite direction, heading to the lab. He reached the door, knocking softly. When no one answered, the Shinigami frowned and entered the room.

The lab was a mess, old experiments and chemicals sitting haphazardly close to the edge of the counter. There were papers strewn everywhere. The walls were stained and broken glass littered the floor, as if someone had thrown beakers at the wall.

"Watari?" Tsuzuki called out hesitantly. 

There was a shuffling from behind some boxes, the scientist emerging. His normally bright eyes were dulled and red, bags beneath them. His skin was wan, and his beautiful hair was knotted and unkempt.

"What?" the blonde barked, causing his friend to jump.

Tsuzuki stared at him aghast.

"Watari...what happened here?"

The scientist frowned, looking around as if he was just seeing the room.

"Oh..._this_. Well, I was thinking that maybe I need to just...get away. I mean, obviously I can't do anything right when it comes to my experiments, so why bother? Maybe I'll just bandage wounds for the rest of eternity. Doesn't that sound nice, Tsuzuki? Surely I can't screw _that_ up, too - can I? _Can I_?!"

Tsuzuki winced, frightened by his friend's desperation.

"Watari, that's not true. A lot of your experiments turn out fine...maybe not always as expected, but still. Like Jason-kun, for example. That may not be of much use in Meifu, but any hard-working mortal mom would love to have something like that!"

"They already make pre-sliced foods," the blonde said flatly.

"Yeah, er...but they cost more!"

Watari sighed, shaking his head. Tsuzuki noticed the tremors in the scientist's hands.

"Look...I talked to Tatsumi. He seems confused, upset, a little betrayed...but he isn't angry. He doesn't hate you, Watari. He just feels lost right now. Give him a day or so, then try to talk to him. He needs a little time to sort things out, you know?"

Watari looked down at the tile floor, nodding his head softly. It hurt Tsuzuki to see his closest friend in such pain. He walked closer to the man, careful not to step on the glass shards. When he stood directly in front of him, the violet-eyed man reached out, wrapping his arms around his friend's slender frame. Watari let out a soft sigh, leaning into the embrace, his hands gripping the back of Tsuzuki's suit jacket tightly. He squeezed his eyes shut, sobbing gently onto the older Shinigami's shoulder.


	17. Game Over

**NOTE** - The epilogue is no longer on FF.net. Yes, even I am beginning to get paranoid... It can be found on my website (see profile for URL). This pisses me off, too. Carry on. 

Wow. I thought that there might still be another chapter after this one, but I guess not. This is it - the final chapter. Yeah...I'm in shock, too. This is so bittersweet... I want to thank everyone who's followed this story from the beginning or has jumped in in the middle. It means more than you can know that so many people liked this story so much. I always kept expecting to get a negative review, but I never did. You've all been so helpful and supportive, and I love you all to pieces. Don't fret, though, because **there's gonna be an epilogue**. Probably just a one-shot, but it'll be long. That'll be posted soon, and I've already started planning my next Yami fic... I hope this chapter satisfies you guys. I tried to keep it from being too mushy, but you know how _that _goes. I love you guys so much!

Kara Angitia - I'm glad you liked Tsuzuki's little trick. _He_ certainly thought it was clever (although I think Hisoka was less impressed...)

Konnie-chan - There there...now you don't have to take sides. I _told_ you I'm a happy ending person!

Ardwynna Morrigu - Thank you! It's always most gratifying to hear that the emotion was realistic...that can be really hard to pull off at times.

Tysoyo Kalli - Oh, there's an ending here. I can't bear to keep them apart for too long!

Kyraille Fade - Ahh, you're still here! Phew. I was afraid you had decided to stop reading. I'm so glad to hear from you! I'm glad you like all the cuteness and angst, and I hope you enjoy this chapter, too!

Ikki - I agree completely. Not only is it painful, but it can be embarrassing to admit to a major mistake. Enjoy this chapter, it should answer your question!

* * *

Hisoka couldn't help but keep glancing at Tsuzuki, his concern for the older man winning out over his inhibitions. Ever since Watari had used that inhibitor on him, he had been all the more aware of his partner's emotions. At the moment, Tsuzuki was chewing on his pencil restlessly, a wave of worry emanating off of him.

"Tsuzuki," he said quietly, "please stop fidgeting so much. It's making me nervous."

The older Shinigami paused, the gnawed pencil hanging between his lips. He dropped it, letting it clank to the desktop.

"Sorry, 'Soka. I'm just worried..."

The younger man nodded.

"I know. So am I."

Tsuzuki looked at him with surprise.

"You are?"

Hisoka frowned, crossing his arms defensively.

"I'm not completely heartless, Tsuzuki."

The older man's eyes widened incredulously.

"That's not what I meant, 'Soka! I know you're not heartless...not at all..."

The boy looked away, sighing. Tsuzuki bit his lip, staring at his partner.

"Hisoka," he said solemnly, "if...if I ever do anything to hurt you like Watari hurt Tatsumi..."

"Baka, how _could_ you? We're not a couple."

Tsuzuki winced, lowering his eyes.

"...Right..."

Hisoka looked over at him, frowning deeply. He could feel a resigned sadness from the older man, a muted longing. Directed...toward him? Could it be?

"Tsuzuki...if you were ever to hurt me like that, I know you wouldn't have meant to do it. I know you wouldn't purposely hurt me," he whispered.

The violet-eyed man smiled warmly, causing his younger partner to blush.

* * *

Watari opened his eyes blearily, trying to blink away the sleep in them. He started to raise his head, but stopped, hissing in pain. He remembered that he had been sitting at the lab table. 'I must have fallen asleep. Damn...my neck is so stiff... I definitely can't move it. I wonder if I call for help, will anyone come? I wonder if I can even yell that loud,' he mused, trying to ignore his sore muscles.

"Help..." he called weakly, amusing himself. 'Oh, to be alone...' That thought sobered the scientist, making him raise his head despite the pain. He stared at the table sullenly. 'Well, damn...it's been two days since I told him. What now? He hasn't so much as looked at me since then. In fact, I can only remember even _seeing_ him at the office once...and that was from far away. I can't very well wait around for him to talk to me first. But...I'm afraid to approach him. I can't bear to think of him looking at me with disdain...'

Watari groaned, massaging his neck gently. 'Ugh, it hurts so _bad_! My neck, I mean. Owww...'

"Oww, dammit! Oww, I say!" he yelled, startling 003 from her perch atop a shelf. She fluttered out of the lab, leaving her master to talk to himself.

* * *

Tatsumi blinked as 003 flew into his office through the cracked door, landing atop his desk in a huff. He stared at the tiny owl for a moment, trying to figure out why she would be in there rather than with her master.

"Have you come to chastise me, too?" he murmured, petting her feathers gently. She cooed, hopping around in a circle. The secretary smiled faintly.

"You're as adorably amusing as your master, you know. Although I always thought it was dogs that were supposed to resemble their owners, not owls."

He tilted his head thoughtfully.

"Though...I suppose Watari has always been special..."

Tatsumi thought back to the stunt Tsuzuki had pulled. 'Take my own advice, eh. Well...maybe I should...' He looked down at 003 fondly, carefully cupping her in the palm of his hand.

"Come on, let's get you back to your proper home," he told her.

* * *

Watari cracked his neck, hissing when his muscles protested. 'Man...maybe I need some coffee... But I don't want to risk running into Seii...'

He sighed, picking at his fingernails sullenly. He didn't hear the footfalls in the hallway, only looking up as the lab door was opened and 003 flew over to land on his shoulder.

"She somehow wandered into my office. I thought I should return her," Tatsumi explained. He frowned at Watari's tousled look.

"Ahh...thanks, Se- Tatsumi," he said nervously.

"...Seii is fine," the secretary responded, giving the man a weak smile.

The scientist blinked, staring at him with hopeful, yet pained eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, not willing to take his eyes off his partner.

Tatsumi adjusted his glasses, forcing himself to meet the other man's gaze.

"I know." He sighed. "I think...that I can understand what you did, to an extent."

Watari looked away guiltily.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

The Kagetsukai nodded.

"I know."

"...Can you forgive me?" Watari whispered, raw emotion swimming in his eyes.

Tatsumi paused, carefully considering his answer.

"...That depends."

Watari looked at him, something akin to dread growing in his eyes.

"Will you make that meal for me again?"

The scientist blinked.

"Of course," he said, risking a small smirk.

Tatsumi's eyes softened slightly.

"Well...I suppose I can forgive you this time, then."

The blonde smiled, jumping up and running to the secretary. He threw his arms around the other man tightly, burying his face in the crook of the taller man's neck.

"...Are we still together...?" he ventured, his voice worried.

"I didn't know we were ever apart," Tatsumi responded, tightening his arms around Watari. He felt the younger man whimper gratefully.

"...Yutaka?"

"Hmph?"

"I love you," Tatsumi whispered, his voice holding the emotions he could not readily express.

"Oh god, Seii...you have _no_ idea. Love you so much," the blonde mumbled into his shoulder.

* * *

Hisoka looked up from his paperwork, a wistful smile on his face. He looked over to Tsuzuki, waiting until the man noticed his staring.

"Hisoka?"

The boy smiled at him.

"Everything's okay now."

Tsuzuki frowned in confusion. The empath rolled his eyes.

"They made up, baka."

"Oh. I'm happy for them..."

Hisoka's smile wilted at the faint wave of jealousy he felt.

"Are you, really?"

Tsuzuki looked up, startled.

"Yeah, I am."

"You just wish you had someone like that." Hisoka looked away. "I think everyone feels that way at some point in their lives..."

The violet-eyed man smiled.

"Yeah, and some people don't realize that they have someone who loves them very much right in front of them..."

Hisoka looked at his partner. The irony of that statement didn't escape him.

"...Sometimes, people just need to ask," he mumbled, pretending to work on his papers again.

Tsuzuki sighed, going back to his doodling. 'Maybe one day I _will_ ask, 'Soka. Maybe one day...'


End file.
